the life of a male
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Posted:Nov 4, 2006 7:37 am
Last Updated:Nov 5, 2006 2:43 pm
1334 Views
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I've been thinking about a conversation yesterday morning.
It is true that all relationships evolve. For a guy, it starts with noticing something about a woman that is attractive. Then (especially for young guys) we start a mental evaluation.
1. Is she healthy (that is pretty much done in the first second as we get that information from her appearance)
2. Is she available.
3. Is she out of our league (from a higher social or economic background.)
When we get this far along, we understand that we are in competition with all the other guys who find her attractive. We have to find a way to attract her to us. We have to be interesting, (This is the point at which women get all the power to dictate the male behavior)
If we succeed in getting her attention we continue to be in competition to demonstrate that we would be an acceptable mate. That we will be reliable, fun to be with, a good father, and a good provider.
Sex is our assurance that we are still acceptable. If we are getting sexual attention we know we are on the right track. And the more the woman seems to want it, the better we think we are doing at pleasing her. If her desire for us slacks off we try and figure out what we have to do to please her again. If we evaluate what we have been doing and it is the best we can do, then we start to feel either inadequate, or that she is changing the requirements to be acceptable.(her expectations)
There are a couple of guys at work that seem to be struggling with how to make their wives accept their efforts. One is on the verge of giving up. Of not caring what she thinks. He is tired of trying to be appreciated. There isn't anything he can do in the short term to change their economic circumstances.
Guys are wired to evaluate every woman that crosses their path as a potential mate. Most women are dismissed from the possible list in a fraction of a second.If they are overwieght or underwieght, they aren't heathy. If they are older, their health is starting to be marginal.
So if you are me and your wife is overweight she looses her attractiveness. This is where staying with her is more about obligation than anything else. I promised if she married me, had my raised them, and helped maintain a home that I wouldn't abandon her. If she isn't that interested in sex then I start wondering if I would be acceptable to ANY female.
Since she isn't particularly attractive to me anymore largely because of her weight and some of her habits, I have stopped caring if she finds me acceptable. That means we have just a peaceful co-existance. I'm use to her, and she isn't unbearable in her expectations. (she doesn't really nag but sometimes she complains)
Not finding my wife attractive doesn't diminish the need to be judged acceptable. My whole life has been a need to be judged acceptable.
So if a female is eager to engage in sex then the male is assured he is acceptable and feels good about himself. If he has to work kind of hard to get his wife to touch him, at the very least he is confused about what is expected of him. The harder it is to get the female to engage, the less sure he is that he is acceptable to her.
I think that is why most guys fantasize about a beatiful woman just walking up, dropping her clothes and saying "I gotta have you in me right now". That would be the ultimate assurance of acceptability. I think it is also why guys love blowjobs so much. Especially a kind of "SURPRISE, RIGHT HERE -RIGHT NOW - I WANT YOUR COCK' blowjob. I think that is why spur of the moment semi-public sex is such a turn on. It says "I find you sooooooo acceptable I gotta have ya right now right here. Even at the risk of being caught.
When guys watch a porno movie,,,, they are fantasizing about some very attractive female finding them so attractive (acceptable) that they just have to have their cock. Probably the more aware a guy is that he isn't very acceptable to women the more he will watch porn and fantasize about being that acceptable.
After dating for nearly 5 years,,,, the one I trusted the most and wanted the most to accept me held an election and I wasn't judged to be acceptable to her. (After years of verbal assurances of "love". That is when I learned that just because someone says they love you they may not mean exactly what you want them to mean and that it is somewhat conditional.) She had met someone more acceptable. Damn that hurt and changed a lot about me. It destroyed my confidence and convinced me that I wasn't going to be acceptable to the kind of woman I wanted. So when I got a chance to marry ANYONE, I took it.
Her rejection changed my confidence in how everyone appraised me. That there was something fundamentally flawed about me. I dropped out of groups I belonged to, and those I stayed in, I stopped running for any leadership cuz I just knew there must be something wrong with my ideas or my ability.
If an attractive female blows a guy off early in his efforts, he can rationalize that it is just a matter of personal taste or that she made a mistake and didn't get to fully know him - her loss. If she really gets to know a guy well, and accepts him thru verbal assurances and by continuing to accept his invitations, and by engaging in sex and then decides someone else is better, that she can move up. That is hard on guys. Of course some guys are stronger than others or more mature and handle it better. I was just at the weaker, more immature end of the scale and it was devistating.
OMG,,, I'm just babbling on here. I don't know if any of it will help ya understand guys. I'll just send it and you can decide if it was worth your time to read.
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It's a different October
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Posted:Oct 13, 2006 8:07 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 10:23 am
1232 Views
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Last year in October I changed jobs and we were very busy during the month. I remember clearly that during October the weather was mild enough that we sat outside for our breaks and lunch. This October we are again busy after a couple of months of not so much to do but this year our October breaks are all inside as the weather has been pretty cool and even a bit rainy. It has even snowed already.
My time for AdultFriendFinder has been drastically reduced by the recent increased workload.
AdultFriendFinder isn't the only thing that is getting less of my attention. The training of my is also getting shorted.
Tomorrow is new tire day for the car.
Today I made it to the cattle sale and brought home 5 bull calves.
I'm not hearing very much from any of my right now. I'm hoping that means everything is going well for them and they are busy pursuing their dreams.
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cams on AdultFriendFinder
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Posted:Sep 26, 2006 9:29 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 10:23 am
1206 Views
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Sometimes I think I would resubscribe to the AdultFriendFinder gold membership but the dam cams on the site are so intermittant.
You never know when you click on a cam if it is going to connect or not. And if you are broadcasting, it just shuts off on you without any warning.
If they could fix those things I would be back to gold in a heartbeat.
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minnesotamilf260 ok,,, I couldn't think of a title. lol
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Posted:Sep 26, 2006 8:28 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2006 3:14 pm
1268 Views
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mmmm perving cam of minnesotamilf260. She is danceing on the cam with audio.... Dam she is hot. And she looks like she is having so much fun. I'm thinking it must be fun to be that hot.
Finally busy at work,,, just when I've made contact with someone who would like to meet. Sometimes life is so unfair. I whined for months about not finding anyone to meet and then my schedule fills up at the same time I get a chance to make a new friend. She seems to be understanding but I can't expect her to not move on.
Thursday evening I'm loading cattle for the friday sale. I love having the cattle but it is always a bit of relief at the end of the year when they are sold and I see the result of the effort. Looks like this will be one of the better years, at least this year we don't have any wild calves that jump fences and cause problems or a chronic bloat like last year. In fact last year was one of the worst, we had the chronic bloat plus we had a calf die on us the week before market.
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cuz someone asked for it.
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Posted:Sep 1, 2006 4:54 am
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2006 2:21 pm
1271 Views
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It's Friday morning. My weekend started last night. I'm starting to find it hard to believe my employer expects me to get up for work 4 days a week. Ok, next week will only be 3 days but still.
It is such a change from the days on the road. That was 14 to 16 hours a day and 27 days out of every month. Granted I'm making half what I use to but I'm only working 4 days a week.
This weekend will be filled with things I'm doing for others.
First on the list is getting my sons car from the shop and then tomorrow driving it to him and exchanging it for my pickup
tomorrow and sunday will be preparing for a food concession that will take place on Monday. The concession stand is for a benefit.
Monday will be setting up the concession, grilling hamburgers for 4 hours then clean up.
I kind of wish i had some free time to go on a road trip for a fresh cup of coffee.
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note to my old AdultFriendFinder friends
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Posted:Aug 11, 2006 9:04 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 10:23 am
1313 Views
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I still have fridays, saturdays, and sundays off and would love to find a Friend in area (sioux city to sioux falls, Orange City to Yankton)for adult play. I'm not interested in males for sex but ya know, might be nice to have a drinking buddy while I wait for an available female to make herself known to me. lol
I started the morning with a nice chat with friend Katey. She had good news and sad. I'll be thinking of and praying for her.
The recent rains have relieved some stress from my mind as the pasture has greened and the grass is growing back so I won't have to sell the calves early.
My marriage still sucks with my wife spending most nights in her recliner. She comes home from work, makes herself something to eat and sits in front of the TV until she falls asleep.
I come home from work, do some light chores, work at training the dog, do a little maintenance on the buildings and then come in take a shower, grab a sandwich and head to the bedroom. Sometimes I get online and watch the conversation in the midwest room. I guess I keep hoping to see a woman from the area who wants a discreet thing even if it is just a chat friendship.
I'm a little bummed out about my job,,, the cut in wages I took to join the company has been longer than I expected cuz business hasn't blossomed like they believed it would. On the brighter side we have some big projects comming up in a month and I like the job and people I work with.
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keeping busy
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Posted:Jun 30, 2006 5:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2006 11:54 am
1359 Views
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My gold membership to this website is almost up. I doubt I'll renew just check in from time to time as a standard. Most of the reason to be a premium member is to contact others but I have found this to be a largely useless way to meet a woman.
At work, I have been working on a number of research and developement projects. It is far more interesting than production. We are about to announce a major advancement for the equipment we manufacture as a result of those efforts. The patent work is done so the announcement should be soon. I still have my areas of responsibility in production. Mostly managing the inventory and assigning tasks.
I still get 3 day weekends and I desire to find an interesting lady to meet for fun on friday or saturdays but since that hasn't been happening, I have started some projects. I work at training the every night but spend aditional time on fridays. Fridays also find me doing maintenance on the acreage.
Saturdays I go to Yankton and work as a volunteer on a Habitat for Humanity home.
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Looking forward to the week
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Posted:Apr 16, 2006 8:44 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2006 4:26 pm
1582 Views
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As I sit and ponder the week ahead, I have the dread of getting up early, I hate that part but once I get going I enjoy work. This week should be interesting as I think a logjam of sorts will finally break and we will be busy again.
I recieved an email this week and hope to start corresponding with what I hope will be a new friend.
My sons were home from school over the weekend, and it was enjoyable. Spent one day with the older used car shopping. It was a great chance to learn a lot about him. He is growing up to be a clear thinker. Casting off his fathers impulsive tendancies for a much more deliberative approach to challenges.
The younger , partied until he got sick and hung with his friends most of the weekend. I'm not that worried about the partying because his physical condition tells me this was a rare event. He lifts weights and runs and hangs with the airforce ROTC people as well as studying while away. Getting together with his old buddies was just a "letting go" for the weekend.
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weekend
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Posted:Mar 25, 2006 6:44 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 10:23 am
1410 Views
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Had yesterday off from work with pay. Production was caught up so there wasn't going to be anything to do. We had just been playing cards since Wednesday anyway.
So I spent my day off taking the roof off of an old building on the acreage. I'm replacing it with greenhouse film.
Today I'm going to the "hay sale". I need a ton or two.
Thursday night I got to chat with a new accaintence from AdultFriendFinder. Just trying to get to know her then I was interupted. I figure now she thinks I was just playing games with her. Guess time will tell, I sent her and explaination and didn't get any reply yet.
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Tickle IQ Test
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Posted:Mar 16, 2006 7:20 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2006 2:53 pm
1488 Views
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I had forgotten all about it. Then I recieved the email that said it had been a year since I had for the hell of it taken the Tickle IQ test. So is an IQ of 133 good?. Anybody else ever take the thing and ROFLMAO at the result.
If I were as smart as the test says, shouldn't I be successful?
Should I forget all the little things I forget or should I be able to retain a lot of information?
Should I not be able to get how to play pitch or poker or any other social game?
The real funny part of the test results is to be catorgorized as a "gifted linguist". LOL it says that the "gifted linguist" can take complex concepts and articulate them to just about anyone. I can't think of anyone who has less ability in that area than I.
The results say great jobs for me are publicist,translator (I speak no foriegn language),politition, public speaker. Now that is just CRAZY. I flunked speach in high school and college. I hate to talk to more than 2 or 3 people at a time.
On an unrelated subject, I sat in on a meeting today in which a dairy automation specialist was asking us to help recycle the BTU's that they buy and then flush. Oh, we can save them a ton of cash by recycling the BTU's, that is what we do. We transfer heat from a waste stream and put it back into the next process. I just wonder why I had to sit in on the meeting.... for a "gifted linquist" I never said anything during the meeting.
If I was that smart,,, shouldn't I have more confidence in my ideas?
Why do I always feel and visualise myself as the little in the room of grown ups?
By the way,,,,, I am an accomplished cunniliguist!!! Independently verified!!!
Friends, Have a Good Night.
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i hate revisions
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Posted:Mar 6, 2006 6:03 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 10:23 am
1399 Views
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I was having a good day at work today until the brains of the operation came up with a revision on the control box. So I started opening up the boxes, taking the wires loose from the 110volt contactor and taking the contactor out. Replacing it with a 24volt, removing some relays and wires, and then rerouting wires. I got 12 of them done..... only 35 more to go!
Ok, now that I think about it a bit, things could have been worse. Had I not taken this job I might have been sitting in a traffic jam somewhere, or waiting on a shipment to be loaded, or had a breakdown in the middle of wyoming.
I'm getting a little restless. I do have an urge to just drive a tractor trailer someplace. It was always such a great feeling to roll down the window on the first warm days and just cruise the big road.
Hope you all enjoyed the sunshine today. I only got 15 minutes in the sun at noon and another 15 minutes at 3pm.
Those were some very welcome minutes tho. I was tired of looking in a box at wires.
Spent a hour outside with the dog. The training is coming along well although I don't expect much from him yet. Toward the end of next month the training will become more intense for him.
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i hate thinking of a title,,,, so there isn't one
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Posted:Mar 3, 2006 3:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2006 7:41 pm
1517 Views
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What a beautiful day today,,,, got off early from work,,,spent an hour working with the dog,,, he is catching on to commands very quick.
I went to town and gave blood. That should give you an indication of how my sex life is. On the blood donor question sheet they ask about your sex life. Essentually if you have one or not but they dance around it. Since I haven't had sex in months, the answers were very easy. Just checked all the "no" boxes.
Going out to eat this evening. A local service group is having a fish supper. I don't really like to eat fish, but i like the socializing.
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I got a new buddy.
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Posted:Feb 16, 2006 2:55 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1360 Views
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I got a new buddy but I had to buy him. lol
He is in training to be a cowdog.
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To link to this blog (travlndog) use [blog travlndog] in your messages.
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