His Point of View and Her Point of View - which one do you like?
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Posted:Jan 15, 2015 8:59 am
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2015 9:58 am
5763 Views
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I have it from a real authority. This is how it happened: Adam says to God, "God, I don't mean to seem ungrateful because I love Eden. You have created beautiful plants and animals, and I love them all. I thought that maybe you could create something more like me, who I could spent time with."
God replies, "I have the perfect thing for you, Adam. She will be
called 'woman' and she will be beautiful, charming and graceful. She
will fulfill your every need, and after you have been with her, you
will never want anything else. Of course, it will cost you."
Adam asks, "How much will it cost?"
God replies, "An arm and a leg."
Adam then asks, "Well God, what do you have for just a rib?"
Or from the point of view of Eve:
Eve's side of the story.
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.
'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets
are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I
have just one problem.
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other
two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on
branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain,' reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body
came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc......... she felt that
having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.
'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only
half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of
Eden.
'Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?'
'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight You see, all the
animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the
animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'
God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Let's see, where did I put the useless boob?'
Now a few of the girls I know say THAT makes more sense than that stuff about the rib.
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Time of the year for the Annual Test!!!
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Posted:Jan 14, 2015 4:19 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2015 8:53 am
5690 Views
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It's that time of year to take our annual test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin
1. What do you put in a toaster?
give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to
Question 2.
2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?
Question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black
house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Question 4
4. It's thirty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically
divided into West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight,
two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine
is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately
the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes
smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West
Germany. Where would you bury the survivors, East Germany, West
Germany, or no man's land'?
Question 5
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In
Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In
Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get
off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five
people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You
then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
1 - Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' you cannot boast.. you got it wrong
2- Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as your middle school social studies book
3- Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' take two steps backward.
4- Answer: You don't bury survivors, do you? Hope you are not on a plane that crashes.
5- Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you' re member your own name? It was YOU!!
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
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I miss her
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Posted:Jan 14, 2015 9:56 am
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2015 9:00 am
5459 Views
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We decided to meet for coffee. She was local from up north of Seattle and was caught in traffic. So I walked to the parking garage and met her there. I got into her car and guided her to a parking place. As we walked to the coffee shop, I asked if she would like to see my office, it would be a little more private there. We talked as we walked the two blocks. She had moved here from another state along with her husband. But they were not getting along and he was physically abusing her. She was wanting out of the marriage.
We got to the office, and by now everyone was gone. It was the two of us. We stood at the small conference table looking at my fish in the aquarium in my office. I have had my fish for a long time. I slid my arm around her, and she moved in to me. She looked up at me, our eyes met, our faces began to move toward each other. Our lips touched, parted and our tongues began to dance with each other.
I broke away and asked if she wanted a soda to drink. She said yes. So I fetched a diet drink from the refrigerator. She was looking at the walls of the office and my Ichiro memorabilia from the time he set the all time record for season hits at 262 surpassing George Sisler’s 1920 record 257 hits. I have a piece of the ball. I asked if she wanted to see where I sit at baseball games, and we turned to the computer. I logged on to show her.
As I stood up she backed up a little, then leaned forward. Once again we moved toward one another. I reached around her and pulled her to me. Our lips again met, parted and our tongues began the playful dance. I began to run my hands up and down the back of her body. She was wearing short shorts and a top that left her midriff open. I am sure as we were pressed tightly against one another she could feel I was rock hard and pulsing. I was massaging her ass as she let her arm slide down. She was soon massaging my cock. I brought my hand to the top of her shorts, and slid inside. I felt several rings on her pussy lips as my fingers slid down her slit. She was so wet! I ran my finger around her pussy and back over her clit. She was beginning to move with excitement. I was too. She was trying to move her hand into my pants. I reached down to help unbutton and unzip my pants as she reached in to grab my cock. We were still kissing deeply and passionately through all this.
I reached down and unzipped her shorts and she helped pull them down. She had a ribbon tied through the pussy rings. Tied in a bow! She was pulling down my pants. I had my coat off and I was pulling off my suspenders, dropping my pants. She had my cock out of my shorts and was working it with her hands. Her shorts had dropped to the floor and she kicked them out of the way. She pushed me back into my chair and moved over me, sliding my cock into her pussy as she did so. She was soon thrusting up and down panting and moaning and telling me how she was liking this. She was pumping on my cock moaning and gyrating. I was pushing up against her pelvis in sync with her movements. She was tightening on my cock. I wanted to hold and wait for her, and when she said she was ready to cum, I was more than ready. I exploded! I pumped a load of white semen into her so very wet pussy!
We cleaned up with a towel I had in my office. I had a meeting with a couple movie directors and actors associated with the film festival. I figured why not take her with me. It was small private reception by invitation only. I simply introduced her as someone I had known and met on the street (all true). We had some wine, talked to those at the reception and finally left and went our separate ways.
We were to meet several more times, and every time was delicious. She was so very good at giving oral. And the fucking was great! It was sad one afternoon when we were to meet again. She called to say her ex-husband to be had beaten her up the night before. Nothing to do with us. She was divorcing him and he was upset. He was in jail, but she was going back to the other state to be with her family. I miss her.
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Do you like to read blogs like this?
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Posted:Jan 13, 2015 8:40 am
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2015 9:08 am
5319 Views
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My strangest time was meeting a sugarbabe in Wichita. It was our first meeting and we spent some time talking, but both of us knew why we were there, and we began with some kissing which grew very passionate. Hands began to roam and clothes started coming off. Soon we were undressed and I was down between her legs. She came again and again and again and was begging for my cock. When I finally thrust in, she was rolling and cavorting with excitement and covered in sweat. We played for 6 hours that night. I had business in the morning. I kept falling asleep in the afternoon meeting. And it was all about my business—we were presenting an idea to the FAA with 7 -9 government people there to hear what I had to say. Strangely, one of advisory board members told me in the debriefing the next day, it was the most receptive meeting he had ever been to with the FAA, and he was one of the top execs at a major corporation that builds airplanes. The second night, we went to dinner with my business partner and back to the hotel. We had been playing with each other in the restaurant and that continued in the taxi on the way back to the hotel. The taxi driver moved his mirror so he could watch her cum and cum and cum. Back in the room, we played for about 2 hours and she had a porn movie going with two guys and a girl. She asked me if my business partner and good friend would like to join us. I said I would ask. ……….. when I called my business partner, we met him in the hotel bar and play began in the bar. It continued in the elevator and by the time we got off the elevator, my business partner had his hand massaging her pussy and she had my cock in her mouth .. That was the way we made out way down the hotel hallway. It was an exclusive concierge floor locked off to the public, but some of the other guests might have come into the hall. None did. For the next four hours we fucked and sucked and licked and played. In the morning, we all had planes to catch. We spent the flight time sleeping. On the way back to Seattle, my business partner tried to read. He read the same page in his book at least a dozen times. I had a report to write, but kept falling asleep.
Do you like to read sexcapades like this?
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The Penis Study
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Posted:Jan 6, 2015 3:16 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2015 7:38 am
6053 Views
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The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and three years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. Canadians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After two weeks and a cost of around $75.46, and two cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.
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You have to read this!!!
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Posted:Jan 6, 2015 8:11 am
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2015 9:45 am
5986 Views
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A friend of mine sent me this:
“We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car.
_
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Members of the Mile High Club???
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Posted:Jan 5, 2015 12:02 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:25 pm
5477 Views
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Only 4% of Americans have said they belong to the mile-high club, but 25% said they were willing but did not have the opportunity - according to an article in the LA Times. Switchfly surveyed 2,000 Americans and this is what they found:
56% say they do not want to be members of mile high club. Why? 1/4 of them say the bathroom is too small and another 1/4 say the bathrooms are too gross.
Men are three times more likely to be members than females.
Women between 45 and 54 are more likely than any other female age bracket.
Men between 35 and 44 are more likely according to the survey. [That also seem like a lot of 30 year old men are not being truthful. I would guess reality is both men and women are about same age with men being slightly older].
5% of Americans do not know what the mile-high club is....
How about you?
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My friend Peter Davies
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Posted:Dec 30, 2014 8:24 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:25 pm
5843 Views
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In 1988, my friend Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moment. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged . As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1988, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
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Christmas Trivia - Last Day - how many did you get right
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Posted:Dec 19, 2014 8:31 am
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2014 12:58 pm
7190 Views
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90 What two words are normally pre-printed on gift tags?
91 Where was Mommy when she was kissing Santa Claus?
92 What film told the plight of a poor mountain family during the days
of the Depression?
93 On every street corner you hear what song?
94 What was Brenda Lee doing around the Christmas Tree?
95 In A Charlie Brown Christmas, how many cents does Lucy charge for
her psychiatric services?
96 Elvis Presley recorded what sad song in the fifties?
97 In "Winter Wonderland" the lovestruck couple pretends a snowman is
who?
98 What parade was first held January 1, 1886?
99 What song is full of threats and warnings about Santa Claus?
100 Where did Santa land his sleigh in "The Night Before Christmas"?
101 Who yelled "Stop" to Frosty?
102 In It's A Wonderful Life, what did George dream of becoming?
103 What is the name of the first reindeer Santa calls in The Night
Before Christmas?
104 What is the name of the most famous Christmas ballet?
105 What is the theme or essence of "I Heard the Bells on Christmas
Day"?
106 Who wrote A Christmas Carol?
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90 To, From
91 Underneath the mistletoe
92 The Homecoming
93 "Silver Bells"
94 Rockin'
95 5 cents
96 "Blue Christmas"
97 Parson Brown
98 Tournament of Roses
99 "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town"
100 Upon the roof
101 The traffic cop
102 An engineer/architect
103 Dasher
104 Nutcracker
105 Peace on earth, goodwill to men
106 Charles Dickens
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Santa saw you
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Posted:Dec 18, 2014 2:11 pm
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2014 12:58 pm
7089 Views
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You should really know what you are getting for Christmas
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Christmas Trivia - Day Seven - how many did you get right
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Posted:Dec 18, 2014 7:38 am
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2014 7:42 am
7122 Views
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81 Who wrote "The Night Before Christmas?
82 What does the nutcracker become after killing the Mouse King?
83 What men's grooming appliance became a sled for Santa in
commercials of the sixties?
84 What do most elves wear on the tips of their shoes?
85 After red and green, what are the two most popular Christmas colors?
86 What song contains the line "Somebody waits for you, kiss her once
for me"?
87 What popular Christmas toy is based on a 1903 political caricature?
88 Who first recorded "Here Comes Santa Claus"?
89 What song does a caroler sing outside Scrooge's office?
90 What two words are normally pre-printed on gift tags?
91 Where was Mommy when she was kissing Santa Claus?
92 What film told the plight of a poor mountain family during the days
of the Depression?
93 On every street corner you hear what song?
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81 Clement C. Moore
82 A handsome prince
83 Norelco Electric Shaver
84 Bells
85 Silver and gold
86 "A Holly Jolly Christmas"
87 The Teddy Bear
88 Gene Autry
89 "God Rest You Merry Gentlemen"
90 To, From
91 Underneath the mistletoe
92 The Homecoming
93 "Silver Bells"
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Christmas Trivia - Day Six - how many did you get right
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Posted:Dec 17, 2014 9:17 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2014 2:16 pm
6854 Views
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71 What non-smoking association sponsors Christmas seals?
72 Visions of what dance in 's heads?
73 How many times is the name of Santa Claus used in "The Night Before
Christmas"?
74 What is the most popular tree topper?
75 What song contains the line "Although, it's been said, many times,
many ways"?
76 What did the Little Drummer Boy give to the Christ ?
77 What snack is often left out for Santa?
78 In It's a Wonderful Life, who starred as George Bailey?
79 What cola company was known for its ads featuring a big, smiling Santa?
80 What does Alvin want for Christmas?
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71 American Lung Association
72 Sugarplums
73 None
74 Angel
75 "The Christmas Song"
76 A song on his drum
77 Cookies
78 Jimmy Stewart
79 Coca-Cola
80 A hula-hoop
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Christmas Trivia - Day Five - how many did you get right
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Posted:Dec 15, 2014 12:50 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 12:25 pm
6959 Views
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61 What song was originally titled "One Open Sleigh"?
62 What holiday film annually appears on television more than 300 times?
63 In It's A Wonderful Life, what two friends share their names with
two Sesame Street characters?
64 What is Frosty's nose made of?
65 How does Scrooge improve Cratchit's life the day after Christmas?
66 What country started the tradition of exchanging gifts?
67 In A Charlie Brown Christmas, what winter recreation is the cast of
characters doing in the opening scene?
68 What are tiny, inexpensive gifts usually called?
69 Name the reindeer whose name begins with a "B"?
70 What W.W.II First Lady wrote a Christmas story about a girl named
Marta?
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61 "Jingle Bells"
62 It's a Wonderful Life
63 Bert and Ernie
64 A button
65 He gives him a raise
66 Italy (Romans)
67 Ice Skating
68 Stocking Stuffers
69 Blitzen
70 Eleanor Roosevelt
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To link to this blog (senecaguy2) use [blog senecaguy2] in your messages.
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