Gotta get it outta me......
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Posted:Aug 10, 2007 10:51 pm
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2010 1:17 am
3325 Views
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This night's air is dark and humid.
Not a big difference from the hot, muggy air today.
Really the only difference is that I waited on her for 40 minutes to show up at a prearranged spot, just a few hours after getting an email which I read at work saying that her cell, internet and home phone were down today.
Supposedly, this email was sent from her office.
I'm a little buzzed because we had and after hours party at work today and although my drinking was light, I don't drink often, so I'm an easy drunk...and I mean that in more ways then one.
I'm home now. Frustrated at that fact that I've been stood up, AGAIN!
That makes twice this week damn it, and my thoughts turn to joining a monastery if it happens just one more time in the next 48 hours.
After walking the dog, and settling in, my thoughts turn to the over active libido that I have tonight.
I see the bottle of SLIP gel across on my desk.
And my need to get something out of me becomes larger.
I get up and start to unbuckle my pants as I head for the light switch.
It sounds like an old friend as I click it off, and only the light from my monitor glows.
My jeans fall to my ankles where I lift one leg out of them and then pull the other one thru.
I fold my pants and lay them across the back of one of my leather chairs.
I take the seat in front of my monitor and begin to look for appropriate sites to help get me on my way.
It's not long before I find an old favorite and begin to watch the porns play out every lustful event that I think rightfully I should be partaking in now.
I watch as the woman gobbles her man's cock and begin to rub my own.
As I start to gain extra inches, the friction becomes intense.
My heart rate increases and my eyes narrow on the monitor.
In one subconscious act, I move the bottle of gel out of it's cubby, pop the top, and line my palm with it's warm, soothing ingredients. How funny, that happens to be the name of the place where we were to meet, but now you are out of my mind.
It's all about me now.
Me and what my lustful lil heart desires.
I begin to work the gel on to the side of my cock which contacts my hand first.
Getting lost in the flashes from the monitor as the room temperature seems to rise.
I stroke it in circular motions to get it nice and lubed. When it glistens from the twist of my wrist I start to slowly pump my fist up and down.
Occasionally stopping at the base and holding it to admire it's shape and length.
The video playing has to be reset several times as I'm in no mood to stop what I'm doing and go looking for more.
At some points, I find my stokes matching the actions of the people on screen.
Today's shirt is pulled up and off to be layed on the floor for future use.
It seems like forever and I can smell the alcohol coming out of the sweat on my chest as my rhythm increases.
It's a smell I hoped I'd be sharing with you tonight, but you're probably at home thinking of what excuse you'll give me tomorrow.
I tilt my head slightly to get the hair out of my view. My slickend hand still working diligently at it's task.
The air is so hot! But not as hot as the eager mouth of a lover.
I feel anticipation rising in me.
Like an empty garden hose becoming unkinked by a rush of water.
I lean forward in my seat, and change my stroke position from one of going up, to one aiming low.
Glancing quickly to make sure of my target, and then my eyes dart back to the monitor.
There is no need of a warning, or vocalized approval as I'm alone.
I erupt like a volcano spewing liquid pearls.
It's no surprise to me when the first jet rockets to it's mark like a thick stream of gravy.
My vision blurs slightly as I silently gasp my moan.
More jets follow the first in unison with the the stroke of my hand.
I think to myself, "Who loves ya baby?" As I squeeze the last few drops of my honey dew.
The ejaculated pattern on my now soiled shirt is unremarkable. I feel myself fading away as I remain slick, but softening in my hand.
I continue to squeeze every so often just to be sure that I leave nothing behind.
I use the shirt to clean my dick lips of left over cum, and remove it from the cracks between my knuckles.
I really did get something outta me after all.
In fact, I've killed to birds with one stone. Because I'm no longer frustrated either.
Perhaps some day, you'll get another chance.
But this time, it was all my pleasure.
And I KNOW WHAT I LIKE!!
The previous story is part fiction, and part true. I was stood up today, but I'm not bein' a jaded lil fucker about it.
In fact, I've not even touched myself in like the last ummm....five minutes. LOL.
Ken
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A Victim Of My Own Stupidity.
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Posted:Aug 6, 2007 5:12 pm
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2010 1:29 am
3318 Views
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Oh boy,
This is hard to admit, but yesterday, I allowed my own stupidity to momentarily incapacitate me.
I woke up with no plans, and decided that I should do some fishing.
My sister likes to fish with me sometimes so I called over and found she had no plans either.
Around noon I showed up and picked her, her friend, K, and one of my brothers up.
Now my brother really does not care to fish, but he comes to hang out with me because he's been misguided into thinking I'm sorta positive roll model for him.
Anyways, before we went to this little area I know about with a large water fall and dam, we stopped to get some bait, and water.
The guy was out of minnows if you can believe that shit, so we ended up just getting a dozen worms. Yes, one dozen can last a long time if you are willing to cut them in segments, and not just put a whole worm on the hook at a time.
I'll be damned if my lil sis did not start catching fish with in 15 minutes of our arrival. I had a couple I threw back, and a few bites where they got away, but did not land anything worth a damn.
My sister on the other hand was yanking out drum fish as fast as she could cast. Most were good sized, but a few were sorta small. I let her keep em cuz she wanted to learn how to clean and cook them this time.
I kept reminding everybody to drink the water I had got for us, and even drank some myself despite the fact I hate drinking water. I kept an eye out to make sure they were all sweating, and drinking. I knew I was. I had rivers flowing out from my tanned arms.
At one point, around 3:30pm or so, I felt as if I were mesmerized by the water. I got a sick feeling in my gut, and all the sound around me became amplified. I knew something was wrong, and that I should back away from the water or any place where I can fall.
I reeled my line back in, and looked at my brother. He asked "What's wrong?"
I said "I don't know man, I'm getting sick...probably the heat."
BINGO!
I had made the fatal mistake of not keeping up with the fluid I lost. Even though I had been drinking water, it was not enough. I became nauseated, and asked my brother where the water went.
He pointed down the path and said E and K took it. That was the longest 50 feet I ever stumbled. My brother was following talking to me, but I either did not, or could not answer him. My vision was dimming, my mind becoming lethargic and one tracked. Get water...Get water soon!
I got to my sister and her friend, and was going to tell them I was sick, but the words came out something more like "Move, I'm gonna throw up."
Luckily, I had not eaten that day, and not since noon the previous day, so I was empty of food. I had nothing to throw up and all I did was cough, but it dropped me to my hands and knees.
The all realized the gravity of the situation, and I began to slowly drink some water.
They asked how I was, and I said fine as long as I lay down.
We decided we should pack it up, so when my shit was all gathered, I stood to start walking back. Bad idea. I took a few steps and had to rest. My vision now was one of just a bright ring in the center of my forehead.
I was actually blind. I stood and walked some more until I lost vision completely. We were at the part of the stream where we just had to hop over a couple of cement slabs, and up a muddy hill with projecting rocks, and my truck would be 30 feet away.
AC, more water, and a safer environment should I loose consciousness, which at this point, I felt could happen any minute.
I told the to go on up, start the truck with the AC on, and wait for me. I also told them that I was going to rest because I could not see anything, and had no energy to stand let alone cross up a muddy slippery hill.
I drank the last of one of the bottled waters and waited for what seemed like forever, but was only about four minutes. My eyes began to focus on the , and I could see they were having trouble getting across the hill. As my vision returned to normal, I directed them how to hold the poles, where to put their feet and hands, and even stood at the edge of the stream.
I felt my strength come back, and knew that I'd be able to soon nimbly jump and cross that muddy hill once they were all out of the way. I joked with them that this was a trick I came up with to make them carry all the gear back. LOL.
Once they were on the other side, I bound across, feeling like a new man.
We put the fish in a container, got the truck started, and then I asked K where E was at.
"I don't know. She was just standing there a second ago."
I got outta the truck and found my sister slumped over on the other side of the vehicle.
We got her into the truck and turned the AC on her made her drink some water, just a little at first, so she would not puke, and then more as she felt better.
I knew exactly what she was going through, as I had just done minutes before.
By the time we got home all was well, although we were tired, and even stopped for more water on the way back. She got pretty good at cleaning the fish. One did prick her under the finger nail with his pectoral fin, but I reminded her, "So what? We get to eat him!"
We did cook em up too. And they were delicious.
The moral of this story , is not to just stay hydrated, but drink water excessively while outside in the heat. You may not know exactly how much fluid you loose compared to intake. Keep extra water around too. In our case it was a life saver. We had enough to handle my emergency, and then my sisters when we thought we were in the clear.
Be aware or your environment. You'll live longer.
Ken
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Humbled by a teacher
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Posted:Jul 23, 2007 7:00 pm
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2007 9:35 pm
3139 Views
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This weekend, I had clinicals at a nursing home.
I hated every goddamn minute of it.
Ya see, I'm afraid of old people like that. Aside from the ones I know personally, the only experience I have had with them were in geriatric psych wards.
Now, I'm not afraid of them because of how they look or act, (Even though in the above mentioned Geri-ward, I've been stabbed in the hand with a pair of scissors.) in fact, I don't know why I'm afraid of them.
Maybe it's because I'm afraid of what happens to them. The dementia, loss of body functions working when desired, as well as other features that most of us take for granted...Like sight, hearing, and even being able to feed ourselves.
When I started this class, I thought it was below me. I'm already the director of my unit where I work. So why should I relegate myself to such a low position of wiping someone's ass who I don't even know?
In the back of my own mind, I knew that was not the point, and that it was about providing comfort to them, which should go hand in hand with my philosophy of helping those weaker and less fortunate them myself. But my outward appearance of course did not show this.
I had to physically feed two of the old ladies I was charged with caring for. God I hated that. Secretly I was hoping that they would die, not because I hate them, or anything, but simply because I can't stand to see people in such a helpless state. It's a little different when I hold a baby who has no past in this life, but when there is someone with a history, and they know the state of helplessness, that feels different to me.
One of the old fellas asked me to help him shave. I obliged, and found that one reason he was not able to do it well himself was not because of his age, but that his electric razor had not had proper cleaning. I fixed that up, and gave him a shave I promised would have all the ladies after him. He was so impressed. I'd never shaved anybodies face except my own. I never had a male figure in my life to teach me even how to do that. I learned with lots of trial and error. At that moment, that man's face became my own! I knew I'd be judged by how he looked, and I did a damn fine job. As I delivered breakfast trays in the dining hall, I overheard him telling his table mates of his smooth as a babies ass face. I had no time to bask in that though, there was a lot of work to be done.
As I said before, I had to feed a couple of them. That took a long time, at least it seemed like it did, but I had to put on a happy face, and engage in pleasant conversation to hide my depression. I think I did a pretty good job at fooling everybody. Another classmate asked me if I felt better about things and I answered "Hell no!"
She then said, "But you looked so sincere feeding that lady." I replied that I'd have rather not had to go through the experience, and that the sooner we were outta that place the better for me.
Few things in my life have made me want to put a bullet in my head, but this class is one of them.
I knew going in, that some of these old folks were going to push their call lights just for some attention, so I made an effort to talk with each one. My medical and security back ground gave me a large advantage over the other students, and I often found myself assisting them with their charges as well.
I tried to put myself into the shoes of those I spent time with. I tried to understand the irrational fears, feelings of solitude, and despair that they must have.
I tried to glean little jewels of wisdom from the ones who still had sound minds.
One gentleman confided in me that he never thought he was going to live so long. A WWII vet, and a very proud man. I won't go into details about what he and I discussed. But I learned a lot from him.
As I drained his urinary catheter, he told me.."It's not so bad, being in this place."
I asked him how so, and he told me that the people who care for him make life worth living.
The rest of the conversation is private, but that little bit I thought on for the rest of the day.
Everybody did seem to appreciate the help they got from us students, and we began to appreciate each other a little more, as most of the jobs required a team of two or three to get the job done.
These older residents were like teachers. I've been humbled by teachers before, when giving an incorrect answer, or not thinking of things from every angle...but these teachers gave me another perspective on things.
Putting my own fears aside, and entering their world, trying to view life from their eyes.
One old lady told me, "I still have hobbies ya know?" Another old guy when I told him I was going to take him to lunch said "Well what are ya waitin' fer? I ain't gonna live forever!"
I must admit, I laughed at some of the things they said.
But I still could not get over this feeling that they were wasting away in this place...waiting to die.
However, that was my perception. Their's was a lot different. It was a social club. They looked out for each other.."Marge didn't get any jam on her tray!" I heard one say as I passed by a table.
I quickly rectified the problem despite it was not one of my tables, and I began to realize that these people still had a sense of worth. They still cared about others. Of course some tried to trick me into making me think they were more helpless then the really were. But who can blame them if it gets a ride in a wheelchair down a hall that would have taken five minutes to cross in a walker?
I've realized that pride is something I have way too much of these days.
It was not always like that for me. Because of my upbringing, I did not really even realize I was a person like everybody around me until my mid years.
Since that time I have felt my self worth begin to grow. My actions, and the stories people tell of me seem to make me larger then life.
I'm sure however that nobody will ever bring up that time I had to provide peri care for a little old man, or lady.
I've realized in my life that I'm an important person. That I would be missed if anything ever happened to me....and I even realize that it's not all about me.
In some cases, it's about putting the self aside, and making it all about the other person.
I've already known this for a long time. But practicing it was something I had little experience in with regard to my recent years.
I'll admit, I still hate clinical....but I'm now glad for the challenge they provided.
My teachers have taught me a lesson in humility.
I realize my dignity is in reality an extension of the dignity of others. As in the case of the man with a clean shaven face.
I am ready for the next lesson.
Ken
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Missed opportunities
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Posted:Jul 16, 2007 4:38 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 12:17 am
3339 Views
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I fucked up!
I'll tell you why a little bit later, but let me start this blog by saying that sometimes, I guess it's not so bad to think of the past.
Yesterday, I met an old high school friend of mine. S and I have been friends since 1993.
She is the most loyal and trusting person. I swear, I must be an asshole, because it seems like she is never late with a card on holidays, although I don't normally send them....She always has new pics of her family and writes me long letters telling me about how they are doing..and I rarely write back unless it's an email. She is so giving and full of life.
A wife, and mother now but back when I was a cool senior, she was the nerdy girl who wanted to be my girl friend.
I pulled the whole "You're like my sister." thing on her, but the truth was, I was still a bit shy of girls, and also I was going through a profound change in life where I was not so certain of many things going on....not to mention I was months away from joining the Army.
One time....I wanted to get her to leave me alone...I was so nasty....I skinned the head of the cat I was dissecting in Biology, and hung the skinned face by the eyes in her locker on the coat hooks.
That got her to leave me alone for about a week...but after that she forgave me. What a heart of gold!
She wrote to me in boot camp, AIT, and my first two duty stations. Eventually, she started talking about a guy named R. I liked what I heard but admit, I was sorta concerned because he was from Mexico, and I did not know his intentions.
In 98 I was at the Kansas TKD state championships fighting in full contact kumite style matches. S and R came to watch me, my cousin filmed it, and my gf at the time came too.
We had a good time after at the party despite my 2nd place ranking....I talked with R in great length and found that I really liked the guy.
Now here is where I fucked up....This weekend S came up here and we went to an amusement park known as Worlds Of Fun.
She wanted to get away from her family for a while so we just made it a day trip.
We acted just like high school again. Riding everything we could, laughing and playing. And I got to thinking...(Uh oh...) This is one amazing woman! To stay loyal and friendly to me for so long with an undying love. I'm honored that she turned to me for some R&R, but here is where the problem came in.
Recently I've been suffering from a really low libido. But on several rides, where she took a position right in front of me, and the centrifugal force pushed her back into me, I found myself very happy, if ya know what I mean. I warned her at one point that was going to happen, and she brushed it off as only natural...Wow! So cool!
But I started to think about what I fool I've been over the years, to never even give her a chance other then a shared kiss in high school where such a display of affection was forbidden...(Damn you fucking Seventh Day Adventist Church!) but I don't know why I had no interest in her then.
I guess over the years, and with trial and error, I've found what types of relationships I need.
If I had been a smarter man in my youth, I could have everything I want in a relationship with her. I'm not jealous of R, in fact I'm happy for the guy (especially after seeing what she could do with a large lollipop!)
I hope he knows what he has. I know times are hard for them now. But with such a woman...only a fool, like myself would let that slip away.
She's the type worth fighting for. Even dying for.
I can't have her in this life time. But I am so touched that a person like her has remained a constant friend in life. And I hope that in the next one, I can be what ever it is to make her happy. If this is the love monkey on my back, I think in this case, I'll just have to spank it!
Ken
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Fantasy VS. Reality
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Posted:Jul 5, 2007 4:36 pm
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2007 8:53 pm
3063 Views
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The picture with this post is fantasy. It's a high kick that I would probably never use in real life, although I've won my fair share of Martial Arts tournaments with them.
In fantasy worlds almost everything is perfect, and glides along at a swimmingly good pace.
In reality not everything is so smooth. You hit bumps and turbulence as you try to work through situations.
One of my favorite fantasies is probably plain compared to other people's standards, but let's look at why that may be.
First, I spend a lot of time working, or doing something and don't have a whole lot of time to devote to day dreaming. Instead of thinking of a special someone, or an exciting event, I think about which bill is next in line to get paid, or worry if I'll need to replace another part on the truck soon.
Contrast that to my fantasy of being rich, where I don't worry about anything, and you can already see where there is a chasm deep enough to drown out any hope of that ever happening.
In reality, I scurry about, making sure everything is good, while other people benefit from my sweat and blood, and I settle for a meager paycheck, and rarely a pat on the back.
But in my fantasy world, I have those people working for me. The only time I lift a finger is to point to the next task I want someone else to do.
I have gorgeous lovers, reliable wheels, and not a care in the world. I travel on a whim, dress as I like, and carelessly toss money in every direction I can send it.
The reality is I'm too busy for a relationship, at least a decent one. I have 3 modes of transportation that are used to compensate if one is not adequate for the time. My work requires me to wear a stiff pair of scrubs, hat and mask all day, and my money seems to part with me quicker then I can log it in the check book.
When I first got interested in fighting, like most my age, I saw Bruce Lee. Supposedly invincible...yet only a man.
It was his drive that made him great.
I mimicked his movements, and played Karate like most do.
As I got older, and became officially involved with Martial Arts, I began the ridged training that disciplined me to face my hardest opponent...Myself!
Later still I had to relearn things when I entered into a job where my service depended on my ability to stay alive, while protecting others.
I knew early on that there was a difference from the fantasy Karate I learned in the dojo, and the real life ground and pound that happens on the streets.
I used a little bit of both to stay on top...and I guess sometimes the tools at my disposal to keep my edge.
Never got my ass kicked, or even injured very badly in reality. But I suffered one loss in fantasy.
I used to compete in tournaments as I mentioned before. I know a couple of you readers have even watched my videos, but in one, I had a guy who was just so on the ball, I could not keep up. He won. Fair and square.
My desire to be the next Chuck Norris was then lost. Not because it could never happen, but because then I realized that fantasy and reality sometimes meet in an awkward way. The guy was much taller then me, (An important fact when in sport Karate you have to kick someone's head for points to win.) and I'm sure I could have taken him if it were not sport Karate, but my fantasy was to be at one time, a Karate champion.
Instead I leave the tourney with a bruised ego, Silver medal, and the feeling that second place really sucks.
No feelings of accomplishment like the one's I'd get when I'd cuff and stuff someone into my patrol car. No gratification from the fight.
Just pissed, because a dream was rudely awakened.
Most of my sexual fantasies are rudely awakened too. Hehehe.
I guess my point is, it's okay to live in both worlds.
If you occasionally walk the realms of fantasy it's no big deal, just as long as when reality calls, you are willing to come up to the bat, because reality has a way of kicking fantasies ass every time.
Ken
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I owe some of you an appology!
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Posted:Jul 3, 2007 5:46 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2007 6:57 pm
2924 Views
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It seems that I have never checked that spot in the email folder until just recently where it is labeled as bulk.
I found so many emails from so many people in there I got sick.
I was pissed because many of these are letters from people in my network I've shared several emails with, and AdultFriendFinder removed the contents of these emails for supposed abuse.
So if I have ever emailed you in a WTF kinda manner, or never replied to an email, now you may know why.
I've tried to send emails to each person effected by this....as well as sent a lil note to AdultFriendFinder asking to have the emails reestablished, and let them know that in some cases they fucked my chance of a hook up over. (How do I know? It's all in the subject.) Anyways I have yet to hear back from them. I'll give them another day or two.
I'm also turning my renewal switch off until I do hear back from them, and get the contents of those emails.
If they can't provide me with even an edited version of the emails due to their age, then I'll take another form of compensation.
Every body have a fun and safe 4th of July tomorrow, especially readers living in the USA.
Ken
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Lasting impressions.
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Posted:Jul 1, 2007 9:25 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2007 6:57 pm
2701 Views
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Today I took my lil brother home after he had come up to spend the weekend with me.
My sister asked how my thumb was doing when I got there and I showed her that it's healing very nicely. She mentioned that in town, she saw one of those fuckers from last week who was riding in one of the trucks, (The one that overheated.) and he asked her what the deal was with "That guy who was carrying the big gun on his hip."?
As I mentioned before, some of the younger family members have made a lot of bad decisions in the past few years in regard to who they associate with, and my sister knowing that this particular person is a thief told him, "That's my big brother, he hangs out here all the time." A stretch of the truth, but I think her way of telling this guy not to come up fucking around on the property unless he wants to meet me and my big guns again. Hehehe.
Anyways, I got to thinking about what kinds of impressions we leave on people who see or meet us for the first time.
I recently told a member of this site who I try and correspond with regularly that my first impression of her was not so great, and that thankfully, there are such things as second impressions...which to me seem to last longer.
I guess that's because we form them after getting to know someone a little bit better, and we can set aside our first impressions when the new information we receive tells us we were wrong to judge so quickly, and possibly inaccurately.
Some of my lil bro's and sis's friends are in awe when they meet me in person. They get a first impression by what my family members tell them, but then are forced to reexamine their thoughts when they are face to face with me.
I sometimes bask in this God like adoration while letting them talk to me and get to know me better. Then after a while they seem to realize I'm an average guy who's just lived thorough some extraordinary circumstances.
I'm sure they stretch some of the stories about me, but for the most part when asked, I will tell them anything they want to know about.
When I meet someone, I know I have a chance to make an impact on their lives. Even if only in small ways like encouragement, or giving them a compliment. I also know I can adversely effect their self worth by slandering them, or hurling an insult.
I guess I hurt my little brother's feelings a little bit last night cuz a lady friend showed up and I told him to beat it cuz I just wasted a weekend with him and needed a couple of hours to ravish this young lady.
I didn't think about how my words would sink into his brain when I said "wasted a weekend with him." and shewed him out of the room. I've known him all his 17 years and know that the comment won't hurt his lasting impressions on me, but what about the ones he has on himself?
On the ride home this afternoon I clarified to him that I was just fuckin' with him, and he said he understood..."Don't get between a and his bone." I had to chuckle as this is a phrase I taught him. Again, an impression that I have left on him. When I finally got him home, I hung out with my sister as he went to a band practice. She told me that she did not get a job she was after because of her felony record. I reminded her that I had warned her of these types of repercussions from her choice of lifestyles, and the people she interacts with.
She then reminded me that we've had this discussion before, and wanted to know what I thought she should do at this point to find a job.
My sister knows that I am brutally honest, so imagine her surprise when I told her to lie about it on her next application. The reason being that most juvenile records are sealed, and the employer would probably not be able to find it if they in fact really did a back ground check.
She then asked me if I thought she should get right back into school and I told her yes, and that if I could go back in time, I'd have done college before the Army, and before entering the work force.
I was glad to see the cogs in her head finally turning and also that despite her previous troubles she was looking for a way to improve her life now.
What type of impressions do you try to leave on people when you first meet them?
And, how has your family or friends reacted whenever you've gone against something that they thought was your norm? Did it effect them in a way where they viewed you differently? Or still the same, but maybe with a little bit of an idea that perhaps you are not as predictable as they once thought?
Ken
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How many times have you done this?
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Posted:Jun 29, 2007 9:20 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2007 7:00 pm
2486 Views
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I get an idea for a blog post.
Then from outta nowhere, something happens that diverts my attention.
With my train of thought wrecked on the tracks, I end up deleting the post mid way through.
For example, I was going to write tonight about how I belive in the personal touch. How we can all effect someone by showing a little compassion, or interest. Doing what we can to bring out a smile, or to help someone when they are not strong enough to help themselves.
Then I get a phone call that just totally ruins my mood.
My new mood is one of anger, so I start listening to music that matches it.
It does not mean that what I was going to write about looses it's value, just that it's not the right time for it.
My thoughts become blurred, my vision not as clear as it was just moments ago. So it does no good to try and continue with the previous thoughts.
My mind sinks. My heart becomes heavy. But worst of all my new found focus is not on anything good.
I could choose to ignore this emotion. I can choose to be happier, or to meditate myself into a calmer person, but instead I choose to let my heated blood boil. To fester, and open every side door of hatred.
I become a lower animal. In this transformation I loose a little bit of my humanity, and it seems as if motorized gears replace it.
My solution is going to be ride off in the darkness until I get all this out of me.
In the dark I can be comforted by the absence of vision. Abstract lights will draw out new impressions. My spirit will calm and some form of sanity will come back to me.
As for now, It's time to ride.
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My life should be a mid day soap opera.
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Posted:Jun 25, 2007 4:25 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2007 7:00 pm
3732 Views
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Oh Jeez....Where should I start. How about just on Friday night?
I'm at home and I hear my getting excited in the next room. I don't recall the time, that don't matter any ways, but then my house mate who's been gone for a couple of months on a trip to his home country of Viet Nam comes in.
We start catching up and the motherfucker pulls out a small photo book and say's "Take a look at these!" I take the book, look down and see these three lovely Asian ladies.
I say "Cool." and then pass the book back to him and he pushes it away, back to me and says "Choose one!"
I was like "What? What the fuck do you mean?"
He tells me that they are his cousins, and that each one of them wants to marry an American and come to the USA.
I laugh of course, and then look at him and realize he's not joking...He's offering a cousin to me...He then points one out and says that this particular one is getting divorced right now...Bad marriage I guess.
Now ol' G is playing upon my sympathies, because he knows I'm a sucker for Asian women, (What he don't know is that it's Japanese in particular...not others.) and that I'm a lover of fallen women.
He asked me to at least consider it, and told me he'll ask B to do the same thing.
I told him, it works a lot more intricately for me then that. So then he says "It's not like you believe in it, or it would be a real marriage anyways." To which I responded "Just cuz I don't believe, don't make it not real."
Oh...and of course he offered to pay for all the legal fees. I can't believe he went all human trafficker on me. LOL.
Anyways next on Saturday, I had clinicals. A small problem I have is that I've noticed a girl in the glass is all goo goo ga ga for me, but she's only 17. PLEASE DO NOT START QUOTING WINGER TO ME! She wanted to partner up with me, and was fooling around so I took the opportunity to tell her I'm old enough to be her pop. A stretch, but still sorta true.
Although this situations floats the ego it does nothing else, and I can't think of nice ways to tell her that her advances are not cool, so I fear I may need to be cruel in the near future.
I believe the phrase you use with these days is "Check yo self biyotch!"
Right after that, and I did manage to get out a little early, I met a small group of women for a self defense training exercise in my back yard.
That was alright, but I was tired, and not very aggressive in my teaching. I'm hoping I did not jip them off.
The next day, (Sunday for those of you who fell asleep reading all this.) I got a call from my little brother. I decided to see him at my mom's place out in the country. I took some guns and ammo with me cuz I figured if I'd be out in the woods in the middle of nowhere I could at least do some shooting and relieve some stress.
Along the way on HWY 59 there were a lot of idiot drivers. Passing me in no pass zones, doing 80 or more on this 55mph road.
I thought to myself, "I wonder? What keeps some people in check and calm, while others who would be armed to the tooth would be taking shots at them?" I brushed em off and got to the house.
My mom has 33 acres of land between Ottawa and Pomona, lots of room, and she often takes in stray pets, as well as people...a soft heart is her flaw.
Anyways, My sister has several friends of various ages over, as well as my lil bro, and I am asked to teach some shooting and self defense to these young ladies and gents.
I oblige, and we go into the field.
One of my sister's "Special friends" I notice is about to fire next to me, and I see that her hand is placed too high up near the slid of the auto pistol. I tell her to stop and grab the slid just as a round goes off and guess what?
Yep. I got her hand off it, but ended up tearing a chunk outta my own thumb. Well shit! I'm not one to spoil the fun, so I just kept on and told her this is an example of why you don't let your hand ride high on a pistol. My sister was kind enough to get me some rubbing alcohol and a pad for my thumb, and we continued to blow off rounds.
Later on I we were relaxing and some stuff about me and how I used to love to get in fights on the street came up. My sis talked me up really well, so I again, felt obliged to teach some hand to hand combat.
All through this I notice my lil bro is not too happy....He got dumped not too long ago. He asked if he could come hang out with me in Lawrence. I thought about, and told him next week is better.
Most of the folks leave except my mom, bro, sis, and two of her friends. We are in the house and hear the dogs start barking. My mom says "Who are these people?" and I look out the window to see two truck loads of people pull up and drive through her front yard, one with a smoking radiator, the other next to her barn. I ask if she knows them and she says she does not....Because of my brother and sister's former drug and alchol problems..in addition to poor choice of friends, they are sometimes harrassed by people like drug dealer or theifs. I still had a loaded 9mm S&W on my hip in a holser and a .357 Mag snuby in my pocket. I went out and gave these people a nice friendly Kansas greeting, "Howdy? Who the fuck are you and what are you doing hear?"
I had to becareful because the truck near the barn had two people and the one that went through the yard had 3, I had to watch all of them. One guy who was obviously drunk stumbled out of the first truck and asked if Bill (My step dad.) was home. I said he wasn't and repeated "Who are you guys? What you doing here?"
The driver got out and told me that Bill told them it was okay to come over and pick up some stuff. I watched as one of the guys from the overheating truck asked if a hose by the chicken house worked. By this time, my lil brother had joined me with a .22 rifle and my mom, sis and her two friends had come out to the deck. My mom only knew one of the guys, the driver and she told me he was cool. I eased up a bit, but the drunk kept hooting and hollering "airborn ranger!" He saw the tattoo on my right shoulder and said "Oh SHIT! an MP!"
I said "That's right! I have a lot of experience dealing with your kind!"
He then became very friendly and polite to me. I told the driver that maybe a fuckin' phone call could have avoided all this commotion to which he appologized for. Still being cautious beause of the drunk ex-ranger, I kept my right elbow down over my holster. I lit a cigar and he asked for a drag. "Nope. I don't share these with no one." I told him. Again he became very passive, but I had bad feeling about him. Eventuall they all left, and I told my mom that she should be worried that someone she does not know, knows exactly where to find a water hose on her property.
She called my step dad and gave him a nice ass chewing about them coming over and bringing all kinds of people she don't know. She mentioned I was there, so she was safe, and I had a nice feeling come over me, about how sometimes I can be worth having around.
Skipping ahead to today, I find myself paying for my tags and insurance on the truck and motorcycle...then my damn cycle decides it's left turn blinker wants to go out. I get a new one, and start to take the old out..and bang! It breaks, and cuts of course right into the wound from the day before.
I swear, if it was not for bad luck.....I'd have no luck at all.
Now who wants to buy this drama and make it into a Life Time Television Series?
Ken
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Up Dated Photo Album.
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Posted:Jun 23, 2007 8:35 pm
Last Updated:Jun 26, 2007 4:36 pm
2568 Views
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I've had a long first day of this three day weekend I scored. So to relax, I've been sitting here on my ass and decided to update one of my albums. The one titled "Are You Looking At Me?" has many new pics in it if any readers are interested, but I MUST WARN YOU....
I have included cock shots in this album, so if you do not want to be exposed to me in that kinda way you'd best skip out on em.
Nothing pictured is more then 3 years or more old...in fact, most are recent.
If you've been a reader of my blog for sometime, and have not made it to my friends network, but want to view the photos let me know and I'll invite you. All are welcome.
I tried to add funny captions to most of them. I'm sure AdultFriendFinder will ban some of them, but like I always say, FUCK AdultFriendFinder! It's like a love hate relatinship I swear!
Feel free to leave feedback here on my blog if you want to, or have nothing better to do.
Like I said, I'm bored, and tired, so chances are I'll respond as soon as I see it.
Now it's time to check out the Advice Lines, or perhaps make some other articles.
Ken
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I'm Luke Skywalker and I'm here to rescue you!
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Posted:Jun 17, 2007 3:50 pm
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2015 8:55 pm
2546 Views
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I was talking with Suckufucku26 last night and we think it's high time for a revolution!
Just like in greatest movie of all time, (I'm talking 'bout Star Wars of course.) the evil Empire known as AdultFriendFinder has done much to stifle the interaction between parties due to their lust for money.
I understand it's a business, and they exist to make profits, but damn it, where is the level of service I can expect from any other entity that I pay for?
I don't know about the rest of ya'll but I've had blogs banned, pictures denied, emails removed, advice line comments disappear, and always get a generic answer when I inquire about it.
I'm 'bout to fly my X-wing up the ass of this bitch!
Who's with me? Who'll join the rebellion?
Pick up your blasters, and light sabers and let's get to work.
Like the Death Star, this site must have one weak spot just ripe for an attack.
I pay for Gold Membership, and I want more then what I'm getting.
Whats with all this new VIP and "Preferred" stuff?
Are they just more scams from the site to generate more money, or do they have perks that are worth it?
I know I could with hold my money from the site, but that limits me severely to my email access.
We must devise an attack plan before we all fall victim to the dark side of the AdultFriendFinder force.
Now watch my back R2, I'm going in to bullseye some womp rats.
What do you think are some points this site should work on? Are there any ideas you have that you would incorporate if you ran it?
Personally, I'd like more real uses for the points I accumulate but don't need as a paying member, perhaps to see who's disagreed with me on a comment, or a week of standard contacts for free....Maybe a dream date with princess leia in her Jabba the Hutt's slave outfit? How 'bout you rebels? You got a cause? Or ya just gonna sit there and let a wookie fuck you up the ass?
Ken
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To link to this blog (potbelliedman) use [blog potbelliedman] in your messages.
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