more thoughts
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Posted:Aug 30, 2011 9:05 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 3:31 am
4110 Views
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I am now hopelessly in love with that same woman . . . at least that 'friend' is someone she is not interested in . . . so I asked her out and she says that is not where she is in her life . . . so what does that mean? I am stuck in the friend zone with her, not going forward and unable to look elsewhere . . . and wouldn't you know it, suddenly there are several women interested in me . . . I cannot catch a break! Isn't life funny . . . .
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been a while . . .
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Posted:Apr 24, 2011 10:31 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 3:31 am
3805 Views
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I just read my one and only blog . . . a lot has changed since then
I believe the depression was a result of my traumatic experiences back then . . . since then I have acquired a new profession which I truly love . . . I am a clay artist, or, in other words a potter . . . I have met and been with a few nice ladies and my perspective has improved greatly . . .
but still I am troubled . . .
this weekend I received a message from an ex-girlfriend that she achieved what she was looking for . . . didn't understand until I saw the pictures on FB of her wedding . . . nice . . . I wished her well . . .
Then, someone I was very interested in posted new pictures, of her hiking . . . and most of them were of the guy she was hiking with . . . hmmmm, so how do I interpret that? . . .
I never seem to catch a break . . .
so why is it that after meeting, getting comfortable and liking each other I always just become another sex toy . . . am I meeting the wrong women? . . . or are my skills too great? . . . still working on this as well . . .
I like putting my thoughts down here, so I will be using this to order my thinking . . .
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Random and bold thoughts . . .
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Posted:Oct 7, 2007 9:56 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 3:31 am
3867 Views
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Several years ago I was involved in a high speed car accident . . . and I walked away with few injuries
This year I became very sick, and nearly died twice, firstly minutes after the ambulance arrived, and secondly on the operating table a couple of months later . . . the doctors were saying that I was not going to survive this illness . . . 8 months later I am feeling better . . .
So if I have this great urge to be alive, where is the fabulous life to be living for?
I have been on AdultFriendFinder for many years, and in that time I met the most wonderful woman online, corresponded with her for almost two amazing years, then she was being given dangerous assignments with her work, and in the middle of a series of letters, she suddenly went silent . . . that was two years ago . . .
A little over a year and a half ago I found another amazing woman, devoted a year of my life to her before she left me saying I wasn't ready to commit . . . I'm still confused . . .
So here I sit, on Thanksgiving day ( Canada ), alone, not invited to any friends house like normal, family all lives far out of town . . .
My birthday is coming up on the end of this month . . . I suspect it will be like always, spent at home alone . . .
Since my illness I can't drink alcohol - it will kill me - . . . I have a severely restricted diet, most foods put me in serious longterm pain . . . thankfully I can still drink coffee
So what did I decide to live for?
I continually spin between severe bouts of deep depression and ecstatic elation . . . in my depressed moods I listen to women singing about love, the heaviest acid metal angst ridden bands, and weep . . . in my elated moods, I leave my house . . .
So I wonder why no woman wants to spend their life with me? Go figure . . . at least I can smile . . .
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