The Future is Dark
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Posted:Oct 7, 2018 3:54 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 8:22 pm
452 Views
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In the years that I have done these, many have passed from one to the next. This one is no different than any other. Many days have gone by and I forget about how these made me feel.
I read through all of them. Noticed a trend even in the few that I have... After more than 4 years, not much has changed at all.
I am not viewed
I am not desired
I am not contacted
I am not wanted
This goes on and on and on. Over the days, weeks, months and years, that repeating beacon of darkness keeps haunting over me.
I have grown over the last 4 years. Learned more about my sexuality and things that I enjoy. Not like any of you will read this or even care but I have.
I don't even know what I am doing here anymore. The site has gone to shit, you have to pay for EVERYTHING to do ANYTHING and all you get, as a guy, is people that never respond to a hello at all.
My life is singular. My world is empty. My heart is broken. My soul is destroyed. All I see in front of me is a void of nothingness that haunts me day in and day out. I know that my Future is Dark.
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HA... Guess Who's Back
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Posted:Mar 16, 2014 6:16 am
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2018 3:42 pm
1884 Views
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I really hate doing these things but once in awhile I get so.... GAH!!!!
Insanity seems to be running rampant everywhere I go. I mean... sure, I have needs, you have needs... Why do YOUR needs ALWAYS have to trump mine?
Da fuq is wrong with this world anymore?
I am not even going to apologize for what I am about to say... IF YOU WON'T SATISFY ME... WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU ALL YOU WANT?
I mean seriously... tit for tat people. Where is the give and take?
I think I posted about being a piece of meat, my first 'blog', several years ago and I think that one sort of sums up how I am feeling right now.
I might have to take my pics down or stop being so damn giving of myself to others. To some, I guess, I am just the next tool to prime up the engine.... FOR THE NEXT GUY.
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Confusion
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Posted:Jul 26, 2011 3:06 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 8:22 pm
2138 Views
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Why do things always seem to go wrong with me??? I just don't get it sometimes. I hear one thing and someone does another. I get told that this is gonna happen and it doesn't.
I honestly feel that some days I should just give up on it all. I don't understand why people can turn around 180 degrees and just flip the switch like they can.
It is nothing against women... believe me I try my best to understand the female mind... but many of us are on here looking for the same thing.
I know... I know... 'Cocy, your life is just so complicated.' Well no shit. Who doesn't have a complicated life? We all have things that take place and happen. I have adjusted my life from time to time to get things done and I can only hope the people I talk with understand that I cannot bend.
My walls are strong... my will is stronger... I will not completely change who or what I am for any person.
Call me selfish... but I am just sick of all the damn Confusion.
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Might Be Worth The Chance
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Posted:Jun 26, 2011 12:30 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2013 7:14 pm
2143 Views
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Dang, been awhile since I spent a few moments in my own head. The days have gone by quite rapidly and I just haven't had the time to sit and think about things.
Been a few weeks since I have been in my blog. Luckily there was no action going so I didn't offend anyone. But I have learned quite a bit about some of the people that I had spent time talking with.
I won't go into details, let's just say that things aren't working out the way I had hoped. Oh well, no skin off my nose at all.
Funny thing is, honestly, I am kind of glad I took the time and went slowly like I normally do. I didn't have to waste my precious time in any face to face meetings. I learned enough early on to walk away.
My problem is... it is starting to become a routine. Talk with someone, get to know them a little, then realize.... damn, they are nuts.
Sure, I know, we all have our little quirks. I know I have several and I am not afraid to let someone know. But is there anyone out there for me at all?
It is starting to get a bit lonely out there. I just hope that one day... one day... I can find someone that will understand me. Take the time to learn about me. Just be themselves to let me learn about them.
I am not hard to find. You can email me here. Who knows... it just Might Be Worth The Chance.
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Stranger Things Have Happened.
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Posted:Jun 10, 2011 5:38 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2014 6:09 am
2409 Views
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Do you ever wonder some days why you sit here, alone, sitting in front of some rectangular screen? I do all the time and then I realize something.
I am so alone.
So I sit here... day in and day out... typing away on my keyboard and reading comments, posts, chat rooms, blogs and more and I search and search and search for someone to connect with.
It is frustrating.
I find people and things don't work out. Times don't mesh. Distance doesn't mesh. Things just don't mesh yet still, I bury myself in hopes and dreams that it just might happen.
I might find happiness.
I might... you never know. Stranger Things Have Happened.
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Kick In The Nuts
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Posted:May 23, 2011 5:30 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2011 7:22 pm
2205 Views
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You know something. There comes a time when a line has to be drawn. This line is not drawn out by me, oh no, not by me at all. But this line should be drawn by each and every person out there right now.
We were all once. We have all heard the words and for some reason, in our adult lives, we tend to forget it. It is something to learn by.
"If you don't have something nice to say. Don't say anything at all."
Wow... go figure, right. On a site where being imperfect is perfect, you would think that people would try to use this from time to time.
It is a long story. Honestly I don't feel like going into it. But you will never, EVER, see me talking bad about any part of any person on this site or beyond, ever.
But I will say this. What was said to me by some total stranger that I never met before.... sure was a Kick In The Nuts.
For now,
Cocy
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Out On A Limb
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Posted:May 12, 2011 6:11 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2011 4:42 pm
2285 Views
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I don't know about the rest of you. But I am not the type of person to divulge a lot about myself. I am very closed into myself. There are obvious reasons for this....
This is the internet. There are crazy people in this world. I have been hurt in my life.
Hurt... wow, go figure. A guy that doesn't want to get hurt. Figure me knowledgeable with my feelings, what few there are. Most of you if any will get to see them. Been told that I am 'cold'. Oh well. I like who I am and how I am.
Wanna get through my walls and shells? Like me first for who I am and don't try to push me. I don't push back, I take the shove and walk away quicker with the momentum given to me. Ouch, right? I know, ouch for her.
You will never know about the person if you don't give them the chance to open up at their own pace. You could honestly be surprised by what you might uncover!!!
But in this world of instants, where we have to have it HERE and NOW... I am probably going to end up very alone. Oh well. The person that really really wants to spend the time will do so and I can promise, it will be worth the time.
I do remember how I once was and I did enjoy it. I may seem 'cold' and 'mean' but it is to protect myself, not to hurt another.
Now I may be going Out On A Limb by putting this up here....
Let's just hope that it doesn't break out from under me.
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Going Out Of Style
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Posted:May 5, 2011 5:23 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2014 6:10 am
2432 Views
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It is disturbing to see and alarming as well. I feel bad for all of the guys out there, myself included. It seems there is no chance in hell for any of us. We, as guys, are slowly being ignored.
Yes, I said it, we are being ignored and by all things as that being those of the more fair sex!!!! Women are leaving in droves and I blame a lot of you guys out there for this!
I sit on the IM here, a lot and I browse through members as well and the highly disturbing and rapidly rising trend is not hard to miss. Women seeking women with a big NO MEN attached to it as well.
OMG, WTF, REALLY!?!?!?
Now, to those of you that seek only women, I have tried and been doing quite well at not seeking a conversation. (sorry if I hotlisted you, I don't have profile viewing). The thing is, I see it more and more and more where near 50% it seems are seeking women.
I just don't get it, honestly. Nothing against my fellow men... but there is not a single cell in my body that makes me want any of you, ever. What is it that is turning all the women to want women?
Call me a member, call me the president.....
But I am an Official member of the "Going Out Of Style" club.
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Boredom
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Posted:May 4, 2011 6:20 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2011 3:28 pm
2308 Views
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I tell ya... Being a guy on this website is rough. Especially if you are a non paying person, like myself.
You can't contact the people you would like to contact. Those you do get a chance to talk to are great, don't get me wrong. I have met a few people on here over my time and would love to meet even more.
But I'll tell you this... there is to much time on my hands. I love the assumptions that people take with me as well. Those are my favorite.
Just because I am protective of myself and my life does not mean I am lying to you. Get that straight, right off the bat. If I wanted to lie to you, I would tell you I had a 12" pecker and could last for hours.
I guess that is why I started doing these blogs. The women and the Boredom. The latter of which has certainly taken up the majority of my time on here.
If you read this, thank you. If you want to chat. EMAIL me here or find me on the IM. I love to chat and talk and I don't care how far away you are from me either. I will pic share, tell stories or just sit and let you vent about your day.
Get me out of my Boredom.
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Around The Corner
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Posted:May 1, 2011 8:38 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2011 4:32 pm
2273 Views
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Life takes us to many different places each and every day. For me, life is going to some place that I don't know of yet.
Kinda nice, eh?
There is nothing that I like more then not knowing what is in store for me. To have the ability to live each day as it arrives. I feel that is a much better way to live, honestly.
Makes life interesting.
With summer approaching, right Around The Corner, life is just going to get more and more interesting. Not much better then an unknown future without a shirt on. 
Keep living life.... one day at a time.
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Reality
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Posted:Apr 30, 2011 4:21 pm
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2018 3:48 pm
2311 Views
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There is a day in life when you figure things out. Not everyone is honest about who they are. Surprising eh? I know, shocked the hell out of me too.
It is not a difficult thing to do, to be honest about yourself. To let someone know who you really are. To show the real picture of yourself or to be honest about your body and more.
I have a secret for you.....
Some people actually like honesty!!!
I am who I am. Be who you are and we just... JUST might get along. There is a reality in all of us. Someone out there will like yours.
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Amazing
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Posted:Apr 29, 2011 6:30 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2014 6:10 am
2339 Views
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I find it amazing, actually, that some women can think that just because I am a guy, that I am only interested in one thing.
Heaven forbid a person take the time to stop and learn about another person at all!!!!!
Note to those that might ever read this... if anyone reads it...
I am not a piece of meat. I am a person, like all of you. I enjoy a lot of things in life besides just having sex. Understand that if I feel that I am not being treated right, I will walk away.
NO PUSSY IS WORTH MY DIGNITY!!!!
I treat people how I like to be treated. Do the same or get lost.
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To link to this blog (cocytusalcyone) use [blog cocytusalcyone] in your messages.
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