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Weather To Cherish
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Posted:May 10, 2007 9:01 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2007 4:07 pm
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Each day this week has been unbelievably beautiful. After so many months of simply being frozen, followed by another month of mud and last year's dead, brown remnants of vegetation, the land is returning to splendid green hues. Brilliant blue skies with dazzling bright sunshine have replaced the long hours of Winter darkness. Just as the vegetation is erupting in new, tender growth, so to are many varieties of birds nesting around the lake and into the forest, hatching out yet another generation to continue the species. Due to the warm months short duration, their is literally a frenzy of activity in both the plant and animal world taking place now.
Having the privilege to enjoy this fine weather amidst such a wondrous landscape, causes me to reflect upon my entire life experience. I have no idea how many more Spring seasons I will be a part of. However many I may witness in the future, I have already been blessed with more beauty than I could ever imagine.
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An Awakening Revelation
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Posted:May 9, 2007 9:53 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2007 10:26 pm
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I must apologize for this post being written in a somewhat vague manner.It deals with rather delicate issues which should not be directly disclosed nor openly discussed.
As those of you familiar with my blog already know, I have been going through very heavy situations these past several years. With the passing of my mother on Easter Sunday I have really begun to examine life in general with a new perspective and different attitude. In looking to the future I recognize that I must deal with some situations from the past before truly being able to move forward unhindered. With this thought in mind, I began to research my most pressing issue to determine a plan to resolve it. To my surprise, I unearthed some information that could render this problem a totally moot point. Having discovered these facts, many other pieces of the story began to come back into my memory with much greater clarity. The puzzle now made perfect sense to me !
Now, I feel like such an idiot for not realizing the truth of this matter long ago. So much heartache, hardship, and devastation could have been avoided. Unfortunately, no amount of me lamenting this situation will alter what transpired because of it. In fact, the history of several lives have been forever changed, and one of those lives is no longer here.
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IN MOURNING, BUT KEEPING BUSY
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Posted:May 1, 2007 9:49 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2008 10:28 pm
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I'm so grateful to all of my friends here ( those I have known for awhile, and those I have only recently discovered ) for all of the prayers and warm, kind words of support left on my last post. Without any doubt, many of the most kind people I have ever encountered, are present here.
It has been a little over three weeks now since my mother passed. Sometimes, I almost forget that she is not here anymore ----- that she will not ever be here again.Often, I expect to be able to discuss something with her, only to suddenly realize she is no longer present.
Spring has finally overtaken Winter in our Northland. About ten days ago, the ice broke up on the lake ! What a magnificent sight to see the waves of water traversing across the lake once again instead of being locked into a seemingly lifeless, thick sheet of ice. All of the usual species of birds have returned to begin yet another cycle of life. This is the time of year my mother loved the most. I hope that in Heaven, Spring is eternal.
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A HOLLOW SHELL
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Posted:Apr 8, 2007 7:57 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2008 10:29 pm
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That is what my world became this morning. At 5:50 A.M. on Easter morning, my truly incredible and tenacious mother, began her journey to Heaven.
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I don't think it will be too much longer.
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Posted:Apr 1, 2007 9:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2019 8:29 pm
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Until my mother passes on. It may be a matter of days, but there is no way to really know. I saw yesterday that she was ready to depart. Much of the day, I spent crying as did several other members of my family. It is so difficult to accept and come to peace with. Most everyone will eventually be confronted with losing their mother, however, that day will inevitably arrive too soon.
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HOPING FOR A MIRACLE
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Posted:Mar 20, 2007 9:49 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2008 10:34 pm
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Four months ago on this date, my mother had the surgery which I previously detailed in my blog. Every day during this period my family has been praying fervently for her recovery. There have been days when it seemed like she was healing at least to a small degree. Unfortunately, she has repeatedly regressed following nearly every step forward. This past Saturday, one of her doctors informed my family that, in his opinion, my mother has only perhaps a 10% chance of living.
This never should have happened. We completely trusted her surgeons, however, they never adequately detailed to us how risky the operation would be, especially regarding the post surgical complications. Also, I'm perplexed about the consideration they gave to her age and general physical condition prior to determining that this surgery was her only option. They knew that she was 73 years old, a diabetic, and that she had a triple by-pass operation following a heart attack two years before this surgery.
Everyone was so worried about the suspicious cells that were discovered in her esophagus developing into cancer ---- and with justifiable reason since that type of cancer is nearly impossible to treat. Adding to this fear of possible cancer was the battle my sister had been waging against advanced, aggressive breast cancer during the past eighteen months. I recall the doctors saying that there was at least a 40% chance of my mother developing cancer. Now, in hindsight, the 60% chance that she might not develop cancer had she done nothing to intervene, seems like less of a gamble. It truly would have been preferable to the months of suffering she has endured, only to be given a 10% chance of survival.
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FOR ALL OF US ALONE
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Posted:Feb 13, 2007 11:02 pm
Last Updated:Feb 27, 2007 9:24 pm
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Once again on Valentine's Day, I wish that this will be the last year for those lonely souls to spend the day without a companion to love. In the meantime, do something special for yourself. We all deserve at least one day to be wrapped in a cocoon of love ---- even if we must do the spinning for ourselves !
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BEND OVER ; OR NOT ?
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Posted:Jan 29, 2007 10:08 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2007 8:21 am
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No, I'm not talking about my favorite position for having sex with a woman. This has nothing to do with sex despite utilizing some of the same terminology. What I'm writing here concerns nails. ( The type used in construction -- not the ones which adorn our fingers ) Anyway, while working today I was hammering some large nails into rather hard lumber and several of the nails bent too much to be driven any deeper into the wood. ( Yes, I should have drilled pilot holes for the nails prior to using the hammer, but that is not the point of this story ) With little effort I could have simply smacked the nails with my hammer bending them all the way over against the face of the wood; or I could have let them remain just as they were, partially embedded in the wood. That is because the area I was nailing would soon be completely concealed, hopefully for several hundred years ! But I would always remember those improperly fastened nails, which to me, equates to poor workmanship. Without a second thought, I removed the damaged nails and replaced them with screws that easily penetrated the dense wood.
Ok, if you made it this far, most likely you are wondering if there is any point to this post. Well, while working on this project I began to consider this situation in broader terms. In everyday life scenarios when something is not quite correct or proper, but would do no harm if left uncorrected because no one else may ever be aware of it, would your conscience allow you to ignore the matter ? Would you merely bend it over and move on, or pull it out ?
So, this is typical of my contemplations while working. I hope to not come across as being too weird !
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IT JUST DID NOT FEEL APPROPRIATE
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Posted:Jan 19, 2007 8:44 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2008 10:37 pm
892 Views
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To be writing much on my blog these past several weeks while my mother has been suffering so terribly, and valiantly clinging to life. Well, finally, she has begun to improve during the past week without any more set backs. Amazingly, it appears she will very likely recover ------ although it certainly will be quite a long and difficult healing and rehabilitation process ahead of her. Remarkably, even her doctors at the Fargo hospital have been more than surprised by her rebound ---- in fact, one of the doctors informed my father shortly after her arrival by helicopter at the hospital, that he did not feel they would be able to save her life. This dire prognosis my father kept to himself until sharing it with the rest of our family a few days ago. I'm overwhelmed by my father's ability to hold himself together, but he broke down when making this revelation.Actually, the seriousness of her condition was no surprise to me, for I could clearly see it for myself, however, hearing that the doctors initially held little hope of her living, well that added a stunning element of reality.
Sometimes it is hard to be firmly convinced of anything in life, but I do know for absolute certain that the prayers said for my mother by hundreds of people, have been heard. I have been blessed to find an amazing group of friends on this site. To each of my incredible friends, I extend my gratitude for receiving such warm thoughts and prayers from you during this trying period. Thank all of you so much ! I will not ever forget.
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CHRISTMAS : IT WON'T BE MERRY THIS YEAR
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Posted:Dec 8, 2006 11:15 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2008 10:38 pm
1067 Views
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At least not for my family. The reason ? Well, it is because my mother is in a hospital barely clinging to life. This is something that I have not been able to write about in this blog ---- I just have not felt comfortable expressing my feelings concerning this, but I realized that I do need all of my friends support, so I decided to reveal her condition.
This story began nearly three weeks ago on November 20th which also happened to be my birthday. My mother underwent a six hour long surgery to remove a section of her esophagus and also the upper portion of her stomach, due to the discovery of pre- cancerous cells in the esophagus during an endoscopic exam. According to a panel of doctors, these cells posed at least a 40 per cent risk of developing into cancer, and in the event that happened, it would not be a type that they could eradicate. My mother then considered her options and decided to go ahead with the surgery.
A team of the two best surgeons at our local hospital performed the operation, one of whom performed my sister's double breast removal during March of this year. My mother's surgery was quite complicated, but when the doctor came out to speak to my family, he said that the operation went even better than they ever could have expected. There was so little bleeding that she did not even need any blood transfusion ! The doctor told us that she would probably be in the ICU for a few days and then be placed in a normal ward room for another ten days or so. After that, she would need to go to a re-hab nursing facility to further heal before coming home.
Well, unfortunately, this optimistic plan did not come to fruition. She just never showed much sign of recovery and remained in the ICU at our hospital until 3:00 A.M. on Thursday the 7th, at which time they flew her out by helicopter to a much larger hospital in Fargo, North Dakota. There are too many complications that she incurred for me to detail here, but the most serious of them include near complete kidney failure and a partially collapsed lung.
Tonight, she is in the CCU at the Fargo hospital and her condition has stabilized. She has a team of doctors from most every specialty assigned to her, and also constant bedside monitoring by the nursing staff. The doctors have stated that she will most likely be in the CCU at least two weeks, followed by a stay of another two months in the main ward of the hospital. We are all praying for her to have the strength to recover and come home, but this Christmas, which had been so highly anticipated due to it being the first Christmas for the first great grandchild in the family, will feel hollow.
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AS CHRISTMAS DRAWS NEAR
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Posted:Nov 28, 2006 1:33 pm
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2006 12:40 am
1055 Views
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I recall the wish lists that I wrote each year when I was A . I always did attempt to behave myself a little more during this period, hoping that might increase the chances of receiving some much desired gifts. This is not to say that I was a bad , but I was not exactly perfect all of the time either ! What fun would that have been anyway ?
Now, this entire year I have been a very good boy. I have had much to cope with, primarily family health issues, but also personal turmoil as well. At my age, I no longer like to write out a wish list, in fact, I have to be prodded by my family several times to do so. Like most people, I truly enjoy giving gifts more than receiving them.
Even though I live in a cold, snowy region, I'm not Santa Claus. However, you may still leave a note here with your wish list requests. Perhaps your dreams may be fulfilled !
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Remember Me ?
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Posted:Nov 22, 2006 10:55 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2006 12:17 pm
1028 Views
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I hope that my absence from the blogs has not
been so long as to cause everyone to forget me ! Well, now I have a new computer and I intend to return to a more consistent presence here. Actually, it feels rather strange to be back on this site. There seems to be several new added features which I must investigate. Also, I don't know what is going on, who may have departed, or who the new good bloggers may be. In some respects, it is similar to returning to one's hometown after having moved away for several years; while for the most part everything may be familiar, the changes are immediately apparent. There simply is not enough time for me to read all of the blog entries I have missed over these past several months, although I will try read as much as possible. Hopefully, I might be inspired to write a few interesting posts of my own.
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