three prostitutes sitting at a bar
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Posted:Oct 16, 2011 12:58 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2011 2:49 pm
3024 Views
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3 prostitutes were sitting in a bar. The first one said: “I’m so loose I can get get my whole fist in.”
The second one said: “Well I’m so loose I can get my whole fist and a beer bottle up there.”
The third one didn’t say anything, just looked at them and started sliding down the bar stool.
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Two Wives go out for a girl's night
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Posted:Oct 15, 2011 10:17 am
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2011 2:59 pm
3196 Views
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Two wives go out for girls night. Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties the other grabbed a wreath off a grave. The next morning one husband called the other and said "no more girls night out! my wife came back with no panties." the other husband said "you think that's bad? mine came back with a card in her crack that read 'from all of us at the fire station- we'll never forget you" ..
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Granny ice Cream joke
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Posted:Oct 11, 2011 1:31 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2013 1:32 pm
3324 Views
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Gran sat on the beach eating an ice-cream, man passes and notices her legs are open and she’s wearing no knickers. man points and asks “is that because its more comfortable in the heat” no says the granny it keeps the flies away from my ice-cream.
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A Little Board
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Posted:Apr 6, 2011 1:29 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2011 12:23 pm
2964 Views
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Hi all,
Been a little board on this site recently. Not too sure how to explain it but it's just not having too many contacts on instant messenger or it just seams that there is not much happening in the groups i am part of. clearly i am on this site for free so what do u expect. I expect a little more that nothing.
Is it just me or is anybody else feel the same.
Talk hard HHH
Please no posr saying "yes it is just you" dont think that helps anybody.
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A Friend Who became a Lover...
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Posted:Jan 24, 2011 11:28 am
Last Updated:Oct 26, 2011 3:15 pm
3754 Views
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I was walking a friend home after the club. We were chatting
and laughing. I have liked her for a while but was not sure
if she was into me. We were walking for a while then she was
stopping to make a point then we moved on up the road. She
stopped near my house and I was facing her. She was talking
about something I was too busy looking at her eyes, her lips
and cheekbones. Slowly I moved forward and I kissed her
lightly on her lips. She moved back then moved forward to
kiss me again.
We kissed moving her up against a wall holding her hands
above her head. Kissing her, firstly on the mouth then on
the neck caressing her back with my hand, pulling her in
closely to me, feeling her breasts against my chest. We
broke embrace and looked into each other’s eyes for what
seamed a long time but may have only been seconds.
We quickly make it back to my house kissing and holding hands
all the way back. I took her to my room. I put on music at low
volume and lit a few candles. She was about to undress and
I said I would do that,
Kissing her neck again then moving around to her mouth then
back down the other side of the neck. I pulled off her top
and pulled down her dress. She was standing there in her
pink underwear. Breasts bulging out. The yellow light
from my bedside lamp glowing behind her.
Touching her skin with my hands. She shutters. Then relaxing
into it. I continue to kiss her, removing her bra and cupping
my hand underneath one breast. I twist her nipples between
my fingers. Lightly. They are hard and pert. Sucking her
other nipple into my mouth and as her nipple leaves my mouth
I bit her nipples. Not hard to hurt but enough for pleasure.
My other hand is on her back caressing her lower back. She
smiles and bites her lower lips. She wants more.
Moving her over to the wardrobe, I take off my top and bottoms
and press her against the cold wood. I continue to kiss her
body moving down to her pussy. I place her leg over my shoulder
and spreading her pussy, I kiss gentle all around it. A Wet
feel to my lips. Placing my thumb up inside of her with my
other fingers massaging the top of her pussy, she places
her hands on my head. She moans with excitement. I move my
thumb in and out. Slowly at first then fast. Pressing the
space between my thumb and fingers up into her. She is wetter
now and moving back and forward moaning. I place pressure
on her clit and she says a very excited yes more.
Placing my two hands behind her lower back I lift her up and
drop her in the middle of the bed. I move up beside her. She
kisses my chest the moves down to my cock. Cupping my balls
in one hand and she takes my cock in to her mouth. Up and down
she moves on the shaft. Licking and sucking, placing her
thong in side my four skin making sure not to leave any part
untouched. She moves up my body again and I pull her up on
to my cowboy style.
I insert my cock inside of her. She moves slowly up and down.
Her breasts move in motion. Cupping both breasts in my hand
I squeeze her nipples. Pulling her close I roll over her.
She is on her back and I on her and in her. In and out I go. She
is moaning loudly. And scraping my back with her nails.
I look into her eye we make eye contact and faster I go pumping
my cock in to her pussy. Harder and harder. She is moaning
with delight and then she becomes quiet and her eyes open
wider and her mouth open she cums.
We embrace me still inside of her. I pull out and turn her
on her back. Hard and she still want more. I take her from
behind. One hand squeezing gently her breast and the other
fingering her wet pussy. She is moaning and groaning. In
and out as I go. Rubbing my balls of balls off her pussy as
I go deeper. Then as I feel like I am nearly there I pull her
back to me. Fingers rubbing her clit. My body touching her
back, I cum with a moan of pleasure.
We lay back down. Sweaty and breathless. She leans over
and asks, “Can we Go Again”. My reply “fuck yea”
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Just a random question
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Posted:Jan 20, 2011 4:40 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2013 1:33 pm
3346 Views
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This is for the ladies.
Wondering if you could answer me this.
When you are with your man do you like him to be shaven around the dick area?
Fully bare down stairs?
or
Just a short back and sides?
I generaly just trim the area but i was just wondering what is the prefered option.
Talkhardhhh
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A Parrot Swallows a Viagra ....
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Posted:Jan 20, 2011 1:14 pm
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2011 3:42 pm
3439 Views
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A Parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in a freezer to cool off.
Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.
How come you are sweating? He asks. The parrot replies, Do you know how hard it is to open the
legs of a frozen chicken?
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Man in the Mirror
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Posted:Jan 18, 2011 12:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2011 3:50 pm
3853 Views
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Man naked, looks in the mirror and says to his wife "why do i always get a hard-on when i look at my self
in the mirror." Wife Says "Coz even your cock thinks your a cunt"
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Paddy is Sunbathing
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Posted:Jan 18, 2011 12:36 pm
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 9:52 am
3329 Views
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Paddy is sunbathing on a nude beach in spain. out of manners and to prevent sunburn, he keeps a hat over
his privates. a woman walked past sniggering and says " if you were
a gentleman you'd lift your hat" paddy replies " if you weren't so fucking ugly
it would lift itself"
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Wet Tent Needed Some TLC....
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Posted:Jan 13, 2011 11:54 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 9:52 am
3450 Views
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A little Story for u...
While in the states one year i was camping with a few friends.
the campsite we had was a shared campsite with lots of tents
all around.
i got up one morning and was walking through the site when
i came across a girl, a tanned and very sexy girl cleaning
out her tent. it had rained a lot and she had got water in her tent and it needed to be fixed. not
to see a girl in trouble i helped her fix the tear and struck
up a conversation. where she was from and all that kind of stuff. she asked me would i mind helping
her clean out the tent as it was dirty. to do this we would
have to bring the tent to a waist land area behind sheds where there was water hoses and there would
be nobody around.
so we gathered up our stuff and went to this area. we lay-ed
out the tent. it was a 6 man tent and big. as the day was warming
up and not to get her cloths wet she took off the top and shorts
and grabbed the water hose. she stud there hose in hand wearing
a black sports bra and very tight boxer shorts. the spray
off the tent brushed her with a mist of water. wearing shorts
and taking my top off i soon started to help her clean the
tent.
brushing bits off the sides as it lay flat on the ground she
would bend over. her bum was tight in those under-ware and
dirty thought ran through my head. as i cleaned i felt that
she was checking me out as well. we were wet right through.
we went inside of the tent. i held up the roof as she sprayed
all around the floor and as it was all around me as well. we
laughed and enjoyed the flirting.
she then held up the tent and it was my turn. i sprayed around
the floor and then on purpose sprayed her. She giggled.
the sun shone through the tent. he skin was wet. you could
see the outline of her breasts through her sports bra. we
made eye contact and i moved close in to her and we kissed.
dropping the hose on the ground and moving my hands around
her wast. she moved her hand down around my neck. we kissed
under the tent. the tent lay all around up. we were in the
middle of this blanket of tent warming in the sunlight.
we moved on to our knees. taking her bra off over her head,
i stopped it around her face for a few minutes as i kissed
her breasts. holding her breast in my hand sucking and kissing
and licking around the nipple. bra now off i took off her
under-ware. rolling them of as they were so wet it reviled
a neatly shaven pussy. moving my thumb up through her lips,
slowly, then inserting my thumb inside. she moved up and
down as i circled my thumb inside of her. moving in and out,
she was hot and horny.
kneeling on the wet ground she took off my shorts. my cock
was hard. proud to be woken up in this manner. she gently
touched my cock. moving her hand up and down on the shaft.
her hand moving over the top to rub the head then back down
the shaft again.
moving her on to her back. i moved apart her legs and placed
my hard cock up inside of her. we made eye contact and i found
as i trusted deep inside of her that we could not break eye
contact. one hand on her ass, squeezing hard as i moved inside
of her. i could see she was enjoying herself. she moaned
as i went harder and harder. digging her nails in to my back
as she hung on. as she was moaning with excitement i rolled
over on to my back and she withdrew my cock and placed it in
her mouth.
she moved up and down on it. licking under my foreskin and
messaging my ball with her hand. my shaft went in and out
of her mouth faster and faster. lieing there in the wet tent.
i came in her mouth. she swallowed and kissed me. mm. what
a morning....
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Dildo at Dawn....
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Posted:Jan 13, 2011 11:44 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 9:52 am
3476 Views
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Hope you Enjoy
As we lay there on the bed, buck naked, after a long night
of pleasure. the sun started to cum up. the light shone through
the window and on to her perfect skin. her body shimmering
from sweat in the early sunlight. I got up to use the bathroom.
standing there cock in hand i looked around to find a wel-indowed
dildo. wondering why she did not say or even hint at a little
friend. i was not jealous but aroused. i walked in to the
bedroom again. laying the dildo on the bed beside me.
still laying there shimmering in the dawn sun i lay down
beside her and correst her breasts and pulled her into a
spooning position. my cock was hard and erect. i shoved
my cock up her pert ass. keeping her eyes closed but smiling
to let me know she was awake. I moved my cock in and out slowly.
moving her legs apart a little more i began to finger her
slowly. she was getting wetter by the second. i spread her
pussy with two fingers the inserted another up hard in to
her pussy. she moaned with delight.
my fingers now wet i took the dildo in hand and rubbed the
dildo. she was smiling not knowing what was happening.
I swiftly shoved the dildo up insider to witch she opened
her eyes and mouth. her body tingled. she closed her mouth
and bit her lip slightly. now closing her eyes again in moved
my cock in and out inside of her. with the other hand i pushed
the dildo back and forward in to her pussy.
as we lay there, she took control of the dildo. putting it
in and out, in and out. i could feel the dildo rub against
my cock. a strange feeling but enjoyable all the same. harder
i pumped her the more she moaned. placing my hand on her stomach
feeling her breath quicken. i too was breathing hard nearly
ready to cum.
then in one last flurry of fucking. my cock taking her from
behind, she now taking the full length of the dildo inside
of her we both Climaxed together. me letting out a shout
of joy and pleasure and she moaning, eyes open, neck back.
nipples hard and upright.
we lay there for a while all hot and sweaty. watching the
sun cum up over the roof tops
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To link to this blog (TalkhardHHH) use [blog TalkhardHHH] in your messages.
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