Why am I here?
|
Posted:Feb 9, 2020 9:18 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 12:3 pm
2145 Views
|
A little about my past relationships and why I am here...
I've never really had a problem finding girfriends in my past, but things really didn't start to open up for me until I was in my early 40s. My life until that point was simply too busy to get seriously involved with someone, much less start a family, etc.
Then about 10 years ago I went on a dating site and found what is known as a "Twin Flame". I will need to back up and explain this. Also for those who are skeptical about such matters, you might want to skip this section.
Starting sometime in my years, I would have dreams about a person.. enough to know what they looked like and some basics about who they were. Then sometime in my late 20's, about the time I finished school for the first time, I had (and still have) a best friend who was gifted, and also worked with an esoteric group. We were able to put together a VERY complete profile as to who this person was, even a name, age, and clues as to where they lived. By the time we were finished, I wasn't sure what to think of it, if it was all bullshit or something off in the future.
Then back around 2k9, I met this person online.. The initial attraction was NOTHING like anything I had experienced before. After about a week of getting to know this person, I started to notice that she was lining up almost exactly to the description I had, but still enough gaps that I could ask some pointed questions to see if this was true. And they were... The match was 100% to the description.
And yes, I still have the dated documentation around here to back up my claims.
The relationship started off very intense, and the way we were able to read each other's minds was pretty unreal. Not just finishing each other's sentences, but knowing where they were and what they were doing.
So what brought it to an end? In short jealousy. I found out that a close friend of mine had passed away, and was giving my condolences. This triggered a series of arguments that eventually destroyed the relationship. I'm sorry, but anyone who thinks that having a 16 year friendship, that there aren't going to be some feelings there even if there is no possibility of a relationship is deluding themselves. Likewise sending an old friend a birthday card should NEVER be grounds for jealousy, but it was in this case.
That was the first serious heartbreak, and I do mean SERIOUS!
Then a couple of years later I met the woman who would become the relationship that ended a few months ago. It wasn't a matter that we didn't get along or fought too much... in fct it was an incredibly smooth relationship where there was a genuine love shared. What basically happened is that she was being accused by the State of helping herself to a considerable amount of money, and she had to leave due to a restraining order filed by my father. She was/is facing some serious charges that might put her away for some time to come. It's still up in the air so to speak.
That was the second serious heartbreak.
I finally got to the point very recently that I realized that I had to let it go and move on. So here I am.
For those wondering, I'm not looking for marriage or a committed relationship. I haven't ruled out such a possibility, but the person in question would really have to prove themselves before I would entertain such an idea. I'm at an age where things that I used to think were so important just aren't anymore, and likewise should be able to have some fun for a while w/o any major worries or concerns. People above 40 are pretty much out of their -bearing years, so the pressures to do the "moral thing" just isn't there. That and to be honest i really don't care what people think anymore either. If they want to think of me as a licentious old man, all I can say is OH WELL! LOL!
Suppose time will tell.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Getting started
|
Posted:Feb 9, 2020 6:42 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 12:3 pm
2185 Views
|
Been here a week... been an interesting experience so far to say the least! LOL!
Wanted to get a gold membership early on, but are going to need to wait until the 17th or 18th... that's fine. Still giving thought as to how I want to proceed, and also gives me a chance to tidy up some loose ends before I start my great journey of finding love or at least some fun in the interim.
Posted some fresh nudes of myself yesterday on my profile, still in "Friends Only" mode. Interesting to see how much I have changed and how much I haven't over time. Been debating on whether or not to open the friends spot to public for a day or two... part of me doesn't care what the feedback is as I have nothing to prove to anyone anymore, but also I admit that having people ogle me in the nude and perhaps stimulating themselves is a HUGE turn on for me. There are some people however that I prefer leave me alone and not to give them any excuse to make things difficult.
I also checked out Oregon nudity laws and laws in my area... in a nutshell as long as I'm not having sex in public or deliberately trying to turn people on, I'm pretty much free to roam around as I see fit. That said, I think I know what my exercise routine is going to be! LOL! There is something about walking a mile in the buff that again is a huge turn on.
While I am comfortable in my skin, I do want to lose weight to be easier on my joints and generally better health.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
