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| Blogs > rm_lacianna > My quest, my life, my love |
My Journey
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My Journey I joined AdultFriendFinder on April 1, 2014....lol.....yeah it was April Fool's Day. That in and of itself is kinda funny. I didn't plan it that way, either...just happened to be the day I joined. Anyway, I just realized it's been 3 months since I started this journey. And I am reflecting back on the people I have met, the things I have learned about myself, and men. Actually, I have learned quite a bit, and I am still learning. Perhaps someday I will attempt to write a novel about it  Most importantly, I am learning about myself, what my desires and needs are. All of my life, I have been in failed relationships. I keep asking myself, "Why?" I even ask myself, "What is wrong is me?" And I have found the answer.....Nothing!! I am a unique, caring, loving, friendly, compassionate, kind, intelligent, humorous, loyal, sensual, sexy, and kinky woman who is still learning about herself and growing everyday. Perhaps I have not met the right partner for myself because I needed that opportunity to discover myself truly, take a deep look inside, find out what makes me happy instead of always trying to please someone else. I am getting acquainted with me....trying to live my life the way I see fit, not worry about what others will think of me. I am tired of living my life in a box and trying to be someone I am not. I am unique, I am free-spirited, I am a beautiful woman on the inside and outside, and I have so much to give to that one person who is my ideal companion. Who is he? I don't have a clue. It may be years until I meet him. But, that is ok. I am not in any hurry anymore. I am enjoying the ride, enjoying my new experiences, meeting new people, learning what is out there in the big wide world and being reminded that conservative, stuffy, cliquish Chico, CA is only one little dot, a tiny miniscule speck on the earth, and that there is a huge world of diverse and unique people out there also, one of them in particular searching for a mate just like me. Yes, I find Chico to be stuffy and conservative, full of college and preppy married couples who look down upon anyone different from themselves. Ok...I know that is judgemental. I hate being judgemental. I have tried to make friends with some of these people but I feel so awkward around them, have nothing in common with them, especially the "happily" married ones. I have never had that experience. Maybe that is why I feel so detached from them. Anyway, I digress. So, back to reality. I am learning about me. I want to shed the constrictions society places upon me. Even well meaning friends and family place these constrictions upon me. I don't want to have to be someone I am not. I want the freedom to be me. I want to be accepted and loved for who I really am. To my fellow travelers on this road to self discovery I say a welcoming and friendly "hello" as our paths cross for an instant. We may travel together for a short time, then inevitably, our paths will separate at some point, as everyone has their own path to choose and follow. Sometime in the future, our paths may cross again. Until then, however, I bid you a safe journey and many meaningful self discoveries. Life is to love, to love is to live. My words...I don't think that is a quote anyone has said before. I hope not...lol. It came to my mind. Can't remember having seen it or heard it anywhere before. Farewell, for now, my fellow travelers. Until our paths cross again. |
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Hi.
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So true. Very well said. I would rather be around people who are diverse and not trying to fit into some mold. I think uniqueness is beautiful. Yes, remain positive, be true to yourself. It can be lonely at times. However, in the end, you will be happier than if you try to be someone you're not. My mom asked me recently if I was seeing someone. I just smiled and said no. I am not looking to marry anyone, just meet new people and make friends. I told her I would probably never marry again. She hasn't asked me since! 
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you have been taught to care for others. To a point that is life. However, the point ends when you give up who you are for others. Trying to find the middle is not easy. Put yourself first ! Somewhere in that path someone is going to think WOW! Lacianna is my perfect mate & you wont have to ever change a thing. It's my favorite part of Bridget Jones ! He loves me just the way I am. 
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Thank you my wonderful sister and friend. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I know our paths will always be parallel....sometimes on the same path, sometimes diverging just a little. I love you always.
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you have been taught to care for others. To a point that is life. However, the point ends when you give up who you are for others. Trying to find the middle is not easy. Put yourself first ! Somewhere in that path someone is going to think WOW! Lacianna is my perfect mate & you wont have to ever change a thing. It's my favorite part of Bridget Jones ! He loves me just the way I am. All female and born this way ~!
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