Lesbian Dating, Relationships, and Sexy Encounters
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Lesbian Dating, Relationships, and Sexy Encounters
| Blogs > lionthatroared > Roaring from the Lion |
Marshmellow... Lilypad... Lion.
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Marshmellow... Lilypad... Lion. I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother today. I own the entire series, I really like the show. One of the characters on this series is a guy named Marshall, a man who is studying to be a lawyer and engaged to a woman named Lily. In this episode, they had broken off the engagement, and Marshall was really busted up about it. And he said something that kind of touched home with me. "Look, I'm really good at being a boyfriend. I'm really good at being in a couple. But I really suck at being single. I hate it, I'm no good at it." That's not verbatim, but it's close enough. And it got me thinking about my own adventures in dating. Marshall and I have a lot in common here. I'm not very good at dating. I always feel awkward, I never know what to say, and I usually end up either talking way too much or going overboard with trying to impress. I always just want to get to the comfortable stage of dating, where everyone is already good with being in their own skin. But you can't just skip to that step. You have to get there, and that only takes time. I hate that part. I realize that it's a necessary step, but I hate that part. I just want to be me, and instead I have to watch my every step... one wrong thing, and that girl is gone. And I wish I were kidding here, but I'm not. It's literally THAT delicate. You say the wrong thing, you make the wrong move at the wrong time, even if you open yourself up and be vulnerable at the wrong moment... it's over. You missed your shot. That's how fragile a beginning relationship is in our microwave-based society, where everyone expects excellence from the outset, or it's bye-bye-where's-the-next-one-in-line? Think I'm kidding? Let me tell you about the last several first-dates I've had. With one, we connected at almost every level. We were both into each other, it was obvious. Things were going incredibly well, and she even invited me back to her place. Then, I told her I was temporarily living with my parents due to recently losing my job. It's a temporary condition, a few months at best. She was done, date was over. I was shown the door; not rudely, but definitively enough. I dared to be honest, and I got kicked in the nuts for it. In a year, when I start teaching full time, I'm going to call her up, tell her how successful I am, and how wonderful I'm doing with the incredibly hot lady I'm with... the one that DIDN'T bail on me when times were a little rough. Hopefully, I'll have one by then... With another, we had a terrific date, everything went just about perfectly. I called her the next day, we talked, and everything went really well. I made a date with her for the next night, she was down for it...hey, how great is this? I texted her that night, just saying hi. She told me I was smothering her and the second date was off. Huh? Did I miss something? One wrong move hosed it up. I went too fast for her, I guess. Relationship over. I showed up for one date I'd made with a woman I'd met online, and she took one look at me and said, "You're not six feet tall." Well, of course not... all of my profiles say I'm 5'9", because that's my height. I told her as much, nicely of course. It didn't matter. She was pleasant enough, but she couldn't get past the height thing. She thought I'd lied to her. Finally, I broke out the phone, brought up my profile online, and showed it to her. She said, and I quote: "Oh. I guess I misread it. Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't date anyone under six feet." She then stood up, said goodbye, and walked off. I got slapped once for attempting to hold a date's hand. Not grabbing her ass or feeling her up in any way... for holding her hand. Seriously? Date over, relationship killed at the outset. I tried to get a good-night kiss from one date that went very well. Great conversation, lots of laughing and smiling, terrific lady! One would think the evening had gone well enough for a quick good-night kiss, right? She not only recoiled away, she looked shocked that I'd dared to try and said, "Whoa! Kinda fast, don't you think?" She never called me again. Over before it began. Oh, I'm sure there's more to the story than I'm writing here. After all, this is all one-sided... mine. But why are people in such a rush to assume someone is completely bad just because they make mistakes early on because they're so nervous? One Internet Scholar said it best... "Never assume a first date tells you everything you need to know about a person. In fact, assume they're going to make mistakes. A lot of them. After all, first dates are a little nerve-wracking. People who never make mistakes on a first date are the ones to worry about, actually... players plan out every move, so they won't screw up their play; as a result, they look like a perfect catch. They aren't. They're just smooth talkers. It's the ones who make mistakes on their first few dates that are the genuine article." I guess I just don't do well at first impressions. I'm only average in body and looks, I'm too smart for my own good, and I guess honesty and open communication only sounds good once you're already IN a relationship, not when you're forming one. I'm an acquired taste. I'm one of those guys who screws up and makes the dumb mistakes. But I'm really good at being in a couple. I'm really good at being in a relationship. I give great boyfriend. When I was engaged and married, I made it a point to give her flowers on occasion just to remind her that I was thinking about her. I did romantic gestures, I sang songs to her, I would go broke taking her to romantic getaways, I give terrific massages. I love doing all that. The problem is getting a woman to that point... I suck at it. We've all judged on first impressions, of course. We're human, after all. First impressions are powerful ones, and they tend to stay with us until the person in question screws up royally or does something insanely awesome, and it changes the impression. It's one of the main reasons why guys play The Game. We know the power of the first impression. I hate The Game, though. That's why I just be me. But it's also why I strike out with women a lot. At least I play to win, not just to score. What do you all think? Are you good at dating? Are you a player, out to just nail the opposite sex? Or maybe not a player, but you're just good at doing the dating thing? Or are you like me, and stink at dating, but you're terrific at being in a couple? Or are you one of those rare individuals that are good at both... and NOT a player? Comments, as usual, are welcome. .  Your Friendly Neighborhood King of the Jungle, The Lion. READ THIS! ------>>>lionthatroared I DARE you to read my blog and attempt to be unchanged by sheer, utter AWESOMENESS!!! It's like Kung-Fu Panda fighting Super Models with heavy metal music pumping in the background... hyped up on Rockstar energy drinks! And... whipped cream with chocolate sprinkles! And... laser-guided sex toys are probably involved! And... and... oh, I know... I'm pretty sure Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked it at some point! |
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Honestly, it depends on the vibe I've gotten whether there is a second date. But 90% of the time I will see someone again, because I know how nerve-wracking they can be. I think I'm a pretty good dating prospect, and I think I am good at the girlfriend thing. But since I am currently not doing either, maybe I am wrong. 2022... it HAS be better, right?!
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