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Lesbian Dating, Relationships, and Sexy Encounters

A BlogLand Christmas Carol  

keithcancook 67M
7784 posts
12/19/2005 8:46 am
A BlogLand Christmas Carol

BLOGLAND PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:

A BlogLand Christmas Carol

A BLOGWAY MORALITY PLAY


Enter and Enjoy

BlogLand Productions' roster of BALONEY AWARD winning morality plays is the finest in the theatre-blog industry. They include Conversations From BlogLand High , The Wizard of Blogz , BLOG WARS , and It's a Wonderful Blog .


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 8:51 am

SCENE I

We open our story inside Scrooge’s international adult website complex, Paolo Alto, California.
Scrooge and Cratchit sit in the main programming room on Christmas Eve.


Cratchit! Quit fiddling with that blog code and get back to linking us to as many networks as possible. We must prostitute the members we have, in order to lure in new ones . When someone says "Google", I want a link to our site to appear.

saintlianna But sir, the bloggers are crying out for fixes. We must listen to their pleas. Please, you must spare me some resources to assist them before they all rebel.

BLOGGERS! Humbug! The blogs are a waste of company resources. They idle our Counting Houses. They contribute nothing to our coffers. I am still ruing the day that I allowed myself to be swayed by your foolish idea. A blog community? Bah! I despise writers, and I loathe bloggers.

saintlianna Sir, the blogs have been shown to cause members to renew their premium memberships. They have become quite popular and seem to have an addictive quality to them. Many of our members are really attached to them.

BLOGS! Humbug! Cratchit, your idea of allowing free blogging to standard members is wasteful and unproductive. We are spending our resources and receiving nothing in return. It is bad capitalism.

saintlianna But we are getting a great deal of exposure by giving standard members a reason to stay longer, Mr. Scrooge. We lose so many of them. Yet when they begin to blog they get hooked. Eventually a good percentage will upgrade so they can e-mail with their blogging buddies.

Please sir, all I need is a little more time. And a wee bit more bandwidth. Also, our servers need to speak the same language for crying out loud!

BlogLand is full of bugs. I need more people to strengthen the code. We cannot leave our bloggers out shivering in the cold. You were a blogger once, were you not?

BLOGGERS! Humbug! This site is about hooking up, that is where we make our money. Bloggers do not hook up. They write. They spew their drivel to the world as if the world actually cares. And none of it increases the weight of my purse. I got wise and gave up blogging long ago.

Now get back to work. And leave those blogs alone. They can take it or leave it.

AS CRATCHIT GRUDGINGLY LAYS ASIDE HIS UNFINISHED FIXES AND CODE IMPROVEMENTS, SCROOGE’S NEPHEW ENTERS THE PROGRAMMING ROOM.

TTigerAtty Hello Uncle! Merry Christmas! I have come to try and persuade you to visit us tonight. It’s Christmas Eve! It will be a fine night. Many friends will be there. We may even play some blogging games!

BLOGGING! Humbug! I am going home now and there I shall remain. I wish neither visiting, nor visitors. As for Christmas… BAH! Tis a night like any other. Except to fools who get giddy at the prospect!

SCENE II

AS SCROOGE IS WALKING HOME, HE ENCOUNTERS FOUR GENTLEMEN ACCEPTING ALMS FOR BLOGGERS...

luke69iner Excuse me kind sir. Do you have a moment to spare for a downtrodden blogger?

A blogger? Humbug! Why should I be constrained to assist such a one?

Bloggers need support at times. Especially at Christmas. Can you not spare a moment to comment in a few of these blogs? They could use a little encouragement and Christmas cheer.

BLOGS! Humbug! They are a waste of time and resources. They produce nothing. They are quite valueless indeed. Bloggers are much to liberal with their verbage. Speech should be short and proceed directly to the point.

As for Christmas, BAH! Another waste of time.

luke69iner Nay, we should not be miserly with our words. They should flow freely, and in abundant supply.

Words are the bricks with which bloggers build their mansions. Bloggers are architects I tell you, craftsmen of the written word.

luke69iner They should be allowed to use words at their whim. No matter how long winded some may seem.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 8:52 am

travelingintexas Aye, and blogging is also good for society at large. It promotes the flow of information, disseminating many viewpoints on a variety of topics.

bardicman Indeed. Blogging increases literacy, and fosters a more educated and pro-active citizenry. Socially, they are at the forefront of attacking society’s ills, struggling to bring the world together. Blogs are a boon to us.

BLOGS! Humbug! Hot air, inflating nothing! That is what blogging is! You’ll have no comment from me, Sirs. Now trouble me no more!

SCENE III

SETTING: Scrooge’s Paolo Alto Mansion. In his bedroom, by the fire.


expatbrit49 Ebenezer Scrooge, heed me. I have come to offer you a chance to redeem yourself.

Eh? Marley? What are you doing here, ol pal? I banned your blog seven years ago. It is dead, and so should you be too.

expatbrit49 Yes, my blog is dead. Slain by your ban. And since that time I have languished in the shadowy realm of Blog-a-tory, where bloggers whose blogs were ripped away spend their days.

There we drift aimlessly, burdened by the chains of posts unwritten. Longing to add our voices once again to the forums of BlogLand.

Izzat so? Blog-a-tory is soft, then. Those unwritten posts should be stuffed down their throats and their mouths sewn up tight. BLOGGERS! Humbug!

expatbrit49 It is not just the bloggers who languish there, Mr. Scrooge. There is a special place in hell for those who run blog sites but fail to maintain them. It is there where you will soon sit, my ol pal. Unless you change your blogless ways. Repent while there is still time!

Ha! You’re as bad as old Cratchit. Supporting those bloated bloggers. You are no ghost. You are more likely to be a rotting remnant of the last blogger who’s account I deleted. Perhaps you’re a dangling participle or a misspelled word from his final pitiful post, the memory of which is still haunting me.

expatbrit49 (roaring and shaking his chains menacingly) EBENEZER SCROOGE! You are not delusional from reading woefully bad blogs. I am here. If you fail to heed me, pulling the chains of pitiful posts will indeed be your fate. And the chains that wait for you are heavy and thick.

(quaking in fear) Forgive me, my ol perv. Oops! I mean my ol pal. Er, I mean my ol partner. What’s to be done?

BEFORE VANISHING, MARLEY TELLS SCROOGE THAT HE WILL BE VISITED BY THREE SPIRITS. THE FIRST OF WHICH WILL ARRIVE AT THE STRIKING OF THE HOUR. SCROOGE PAUSES LONG ENOUGH TO MARK ALL OF MARLEYS REMAINING BLOGGING FRIENDS FOR BANISHMENT IN HIS MASTER LOGBOOK, AND THEN PREPARES FOR BED.

SUDDENLY, SCROOGE SENSES THAT HE IS NOT ALONE...


SCENE IV

I am the Spirit of Blogging past. Come!

tillerbabe SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT ARE TRANSPORTED TO A SMALL CLASSROOM IN THE LOCAL SCHOOL. THERE, WRITING CLASS IS IN SESSION.

I remember this place. Spirit, this is my old primary school. It is where I first learned to write. Why, look! There is my old desk! And there I sit. Waiting for class to begin.

How eager you are for it to start. This was the day you turned in your first written story. You used to love the written word.

I did indeed. Why, I used to get so inspired that I would lose track of time as I wrote, oblivious to the outside world. I went to a magical place when writing.

You received an A+ for that first story. How proud you were! It was about your grandmother, wasn’t it?

Yes, she was my first inspiration. She was a masterful storyteller, enthralling us for hours when we were young.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 8:54 am

tillerbabe AS VERY YOUNG SCROOGE RECIEVES HIS PAPER, HIS FACE EXPRESSING A CONFIDENT SATISFACTION, HIS FRIEND STOPS AT THE DESK TO GIVE HIM A KISS...

Oh Ebenezer! You were fantastic during recess yesterday. Will you meet me under the bleachers again today? Mmmm, yummy!

tillerbabe THE SCENE FADES.WE NOW SEE YOUNG SCROOGE MANY YEARS LATER AS A HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR. HIS FOUR BEST FRIENDS ARE WITH HIM...

SCENE V

candy69sosweet Blogging is the way of the future my friends. It is on the cutting edge of a communications revolution.

You are right Ebenezer. Blogging communities are springing up all over the net. You can find them Here, There, And Everywhere.

digdug41 And it’s not just that, John. Don’t forget the bonds that are forged between bloggers whose physical locations are far apart, but whose spiritual connections are tightly bound. The bloggers all Come Together. Isn’t that so, Paul?

dz2502 Agreed. Members of a blogging community support each other and assist those in need. I have read blogs written by the down at heart. Immediately the other bloggers flock to the afflicted ones blog with messages of hope and communal support. The bloggers say, "All You Need Is Love."

postingnick Yeah, so what if they are obvious pleas for attention. It is what they need and the bloggers understand. Do You Want To Know A Secret? They are human, after all.

candy69sosweet (laughing) Yes, Ringo. That they are. Silly fallible humans. Yet there is one thing y’all have not noted.

Blogs are also going to become a political force. Already the pundits have begun referring to blogs as sources for their arguments.

dz2502 Aye, they were useful in promoting the campaign for that Dean dude in the last American election. They raised a boatload of cash for his election fund. That is an important shift in power. The blogs will no longer be ignored. When I’m Sixty-Four, I will still be blogging Across The Universe.

digdug41 Bloggers have also received sharp attention from the highest levels of the Pentagon. The Soldier Bloggers have caused the American Defense Department much consternation with their postings from various theatres around the world. I’ve Got A Feeling that things will be Getting Better over there the sooner our soldiers Get Back over here.

Amen, George. There have been problems though. Many of the blog sites are experiencing growing pains. Some of the bugs are so bad that bloggers have actually given up and left. Oh well, All Things Must Pass.

postingnick I have seen entire blogs disappear, some of them to return after a time, others to be never seen again. It’s like "Hello, Goodbye. See ya later Honey Pie."

candy69sosweet I am going to create a website that will be devoted to blogs. It will be supplied with all the resources necessary to provide a smooth platform for blogging. I shall create the best blogging service ever provided on the net. The bloggers will flock to my call, and we will all be rich.

dz2502 digdug41 postingnick RICH? Are you kidding?

If you bring money matters into the blogs you will unleash a never ending evil upon the Blogosphere. Besides, You Never Give Me Your money anyway.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 8:57 am

digdug41 Influence will be bought and sold, and This Boy will not be a part of that.

dz2502 Lies and deception will follow. I’m So Tired of falsehood and conflict. We Can Work It Out. Can’t we?

postingnick The blogs will lose their innocence. Do you want to Carry That Weight around with you? That you corrupted BlogLand with money? Look what has happened Back In The USSR now that money has flooded the place.

candy69sosweet (laughing) Okay, okay. I will fund the blogs by another means. Hmmm, I wonder if I could use an adult dating site as a platform for blogging? The sexual urge is strong in humans. While they are all spending their cash viewing profiles and trying to meet, I can open a blog area free of charge. Hmmm, I wonder...

tillerbabe THE SCENE FADES. SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT FIND THEMSELVES AT THE HEADQUARTERS OF YOUNG SCROOGE’S FLEDGELING BLOGGING SITE. IT IS SUPPORTED BY A DATING SERVICE, AND YOUNG SCROOGE HAS IT ALL. ACCESS TO THE HOTTEST PROFILES ON THE PLANET AND A BLOG PLATFORM THAT IS TAKING OFF IN POPULARITY.

SCENE VI

candy69sosweet Hey guys! Listen up! I have finally found the woman of my dreams. She calls herself Polythene Pam.

I have heard of her. She’s so good looking, she looks like a man. Where did you find her? Does she write?

candy69sosweet Does she write? Does she ever. Eight Days A Week. She has a profile on our site. I have been corresponding with her through e-mail and instant messaging.

dz2502 Are you sure she’s legit? There have been more and more "professionals" showing up in our rosters. You had better Run For Your Life, if she asks for "favors".

digdug41 Don’t you worry about those professionals. I am keeping a good eye out for them. There are gaps in our software that allow them to get in. I’m Fixing A Hole right now that should Help! If you spare me another staff assistant, I should have the entire site cleaned up within a week.

candy69sosweet Oh! You guys! Stop worrying. She is legit. I am sure of it. She has even been reading my blog. Why, she even contacted me first! That is not the norm around here.

You shall have your assistant George! And anything else you need to keep this place clean. I am in a wonderful mood today!

postingnick You be careful, Ebenezer. Some of these females are devious players. Preying upon young meat like us, they cruise the profiles looking for an easy fruit to pluck from the tree. They say "Oh, Darling, I’ve Got To Get You Into My Life. Come And Get It." And a horny bastard like you will be sucked right into her web of lies. Tell Me Why you want this. I can see you standing there like The Fool On The Hill, moaning "I’m Down." And crying out "I’m A Loser", to any who will listen.

candy69sosweet Do not fear Ringo, my friend. I have been talking to her for weeks now. We are soul mates. She would never hurt me.

Oh brother! You are in hopelessly deep now. I’m Looking Through You. Ringo is right. And few plums seem more ripe for the picking than you, my old friend. You had better take care when you place your heart in the keeping of an online lover. You’ve Got To Hide Your Heart Away. Then you won’t have to beat yourself up thinking "I Should Have Known Better."

dz2502 Aye, online females can disappear into the mist right when you need them the most. It happened to me. I gave her All My Loving, but she left me for Mean Mr. Mustard without so much as a "You Won’t See Me" again. Have you not read pigcancook’s latest work? He is not fooled by feminine wiles.

digdug41 Is that the one where he wrote all those wise little sayings? I think I saw that Yesterday.

postingnick Yes, that is it. Great Quotes From a Chauvinist Male. It is a true masterpiece, and it will be a Long, Long, Long time before we again see his like in BlogLand.

candy69sosweet (laughing) My friends, your concern for me is misplaced. She is going to change my life forever I tell you...

Still, you guys are great. I could never go wrong with such fabulous friends as you. Hmm, that has a certain ring to it. I’m gonna start calling y’all the "Fab Four" from now on!

THE SCENE PICKS UP AGAIN TWO WEEKS LATER...


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 8:58 am

C’mon Ebenezer. It’s time you went outside again and smelled the flowers. You used to be Mother Nature’s Son, but now all you do is sit inside and Cry Baby Cry.

dz2502 Yeah dude. You’ve been cooped up in this office for days now. It’s over. Face it, and move on. You never listen. I tried to tell you that You’re Going To Lose That Girl.

digdug41 Why don’t you pick yourself up and write in your blog again. It used to inspire you so. I’ve never seen a collapse like this In My Life.

postingnick Forget her, Ebenezer. She is not worth all this suffering you are subjecting yourself to. She’s So Heavy anyway.

candy69sosweet Oh woe is me. Woe is me.

dz2502 digdug41 postingnick Oh, PUHLEEZE!

So she stood you up three times in a row. Big deal. She did finally show up that last time.

digdug41 (grinning) Are you sure that he can be called a "she", John?

postingnick It’s not your fault Ebenezer. You couldn’t have known. Although I would think that when you heard "her" deep basso voice on the phone you might have gotten a clue.

Or that comment "she" left in your blog about only owning a pair of brown shoes and a pair of black ones. That should have been a dead giveaway. What woman only owns two pairs of shoes?

dz2502 I would have figured it out when "she" got off during cyber sex and promptly rolled over and went to sleep without finishing you off.

candy69sosweet I’m through with blogging. I am going to remove the blog feature from our website and concentrate on parting our members from their cash by manipulating their carnal lusts.

dz2502 digdug41 postingnick Remove the blogs? You can’t. We are contractually obligated to provide Blog service to our premium members. We may face lawsuits.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 8:59 am

candy69sosweet If that is the case then we will keep the blogs, but we will not expand or improve the service. We will put our resources into chat features and web camming. Anything but blogging. I want them all to suffer.

It’s all about hooking up now. I want video introductions featuring the sexiest profiles. When someone logs onto our site I want naked bodies blasting them from all angles.

Blogs? Humbug! The blogs can go to hell.

dz2502 digdug41 postingnick If you stop supporting bloggers, we quit!

candy69sosweet You can’t quit. You’re FIRED! Now get the hell outta here and trouble my ears no more!

postingnick What about our pay? You owe us.

candy69sosweet Here, take these.

What the hell are we going to do with 4 tickets to Hamburg? Besides, that doesn’t cover what you owe us.

candy69sosweet I don’t give a rip what you do with them. Hock them for all I care. I have some old musical instruments down in the basement. Take those with you and we’ll call it even.

THE HOUR BEING UP, THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PAST RETURNS SCROOGE TO HIS BEDROOM. HE TELLS HIM TO AWAIT THE ARRIVAL OF THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PRESENT, WHO SOON ARRIVES ON THE SCENE.

womenlooking4fun I am the Ghost of Blogging Present. Come with me and you will see what occurs in BlogLand presently...

Bah! Rhyme this asshole! Will you show me more of the same naivety as exhibited by those last foolish fellows I visited? What gibberish they spouted! They were young idealistic dreamers. Fools! They will probably all end up writing silly love songs for silly lovers. There is no value in blogging. It is an utter waste of precious time and energy.

THE BEDROOM FADES AWAY, AND SCROOGE FINDS HIMSELF STANDING IN THE PARLOUR OF HIS NEPHEWS HOUSE. A RAUCUS PARTY IS GOING ON. THE ROOM IS FULL OF TERMINALS. IT IS A BLOGGING CONVENTION...

SCENE VII

Bah! Look at those losers and lollygaggers! Congregating to celebrate both Christmas and blogging!

Why look! They are playing a silly blogging game. Telling 50 things about themselves or some moronic variation thereof. Ugh! As if anyone really cares about their silly idiosyncrasies.

womenlooking4fun Yes, do look. Look at their faces Scrooge. Do you see their smiles? Do you hear their laughter? Are their eyes not shining? There is joy in their fellowship. They revel in each other, bound together through their love of blog writing.

Blogs! Humbug! They are freeloaders. Living fat on my very own website! Perhaps if they paid me to blog, I would take note of them.

Let us leave them to their silly party, Spirit! There is nothing for me here.

womenlooking4fun Ahh, but there is. You have witnessed some of the powerful bonds that form between bloggers. Take note! That power cannot be denied. Even by you! Hush now and observe...

sunrisegirl1983 SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT HOVER IN THE ROOM, WATCHING THE ACTION.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:07 am

1SweetBitch Dagnabbit! I cannot log onto my blog site. Am I the only one experiencing this? Dang it! I can never figure out if it’s just me or if the whole damn place has gone batty.

1hotwahine Oh pooh! My comment didn’t stick again. And the one I posted yesterday has duplicated itself. Dang that old miserly Scrooge! Why won’t he help us by improving the blogs?

TTigerAtty Now, let’s show a little patience Alice. I’m sure Uncle Scrooge means well. He is under a lot of stress trying to oversee the entire website.

Sweetest_Sin_Jes That is no excuse. Your uncle is a mean, miserly man. I think he enjoys seeing us suffer through these atrocious glitches.

MaggiesWishes He will banish your blog for the slightest of infractions. I feel like I have to walk around on egg shells when I am trying to post. I think we should all post more complaints in our blogs.

1hotwahine As if that will do any good.

Sweetest_Sin_Jes Ha! Those posts may "mysteriously" disappear. He must have agents snooping everywhere. No blog is safe.

TTigerAtty He really has goodness in him. My mother knew him well, and always said that he was a great writer with a big heart. Let us spare our criticism tonight my friends. It’s Christmas Eve, shall we be negative and gloomy?

1hotwahine No, of course not. You are quite right. How about a round of "ask me any three questions, and I promise to answer truthfully"?

MaggiesWishes Oh, I did that last month.

1SweetBitch Me too.

Sweetest_Sin_Jes So did I.

TTigerAtty Ditto.

sunrisegirl1983 THE PARTY SCENE FADES AWAY AND SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT FIND THEMSELVES AT THE CRATCHIT HOUSE, WHERE THEY ARE PREPARING THEIR CHRISTMAS BLOGS BEFORE THE CHRISTMAS FEAST.

SCENE VIII

saintlianna Come children, let us finish our Christmas posts before dinner. Does everyone have a topic chosen?

Tala4u2 I am trying to log on, but the site won’t let me in, father. Oh! I must get in. I have all the arrangements made with the Make A Wish Blogging Foundation to send a young blogger with a terminal illness to England.

It is her final wish to visit the grave of Shakespeare with her family. There is little time to spare.

lioness860 Little enough to spare for the both of you, Tiny Tim. You seem even more frail than yesterday.

Oh, father! What shall we do? Tiny Tim’s condition is worsening.

saintlianna Alas, it is the latest bug in his blog that is causing this! They seem to afflict his blog in an insidious way. More so than any other blog in BlogLand.

He has so many bugs already, and every month a new one appears. I’m afraid that his blog is failing steadily and soon will be gone completely.

silkysmoothlegs3 But father, if that happens then Tiny Tim will pass into Blog-a-tory. We will lose him forever.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:09 am

Is there nothing we can do? How can we save him?

mzhunyhole The only way to avoid Blog-a-tory is to keep the blog alive.

SensuallyKatey And the only way to keep Tiny Tim’s blog alive is to remove the bugs that are afflicting it.

waggypolly But that means tinkering with the code. Only Mr. Scrooge can approve that, and he hates bloggers.

hinkawaza He not only hates us, he enjoys seeing us suffer. I heard that he keeps a master logbook, and if your name goes into it then your blog will be banished. And you know what that means.

starlight_runner(shuddering) Blog-a-tory...

saintlianna Shhh, hush little Laura! Not so loudly. Do not let Tiny Tim hear you talk so. The poor child is so weak.

AmberSolaire He can’t hear you Laura. Do not fear. He is in his corner still trying to log on, the poor little blighter.

lioness860 Thanks for keeping an eye on him Phil. He is so dedicated. He spends nearly all his strength solving the problems of others, yet he does not slow down or lose his focus.

That is so true Marti. Last week he saved another bloggers life. That must be nearly twenty lives he’s saved now. And Giselle told me he convinced a blogger about to commit blogicide to reconsider just yesterday. I suppose that would make twenty-one.

mzhunyhole That’s right Lorianne. Twenty-one lives saved from Blog-a-tory. We cannot lose such a great heart as his. BlogLand will be so dreary without him.

silkysmoothlegs3 I’ll never forget the time when I was blogging with my friend in Palestine, and she was so sad because of all the troubles there. And Tiny Tim said to me, "Luisa, why are you down." When I told him of my friends sadness, he told me not to worry, he would do something.

Do you remember that Johnna?

waggypolly Do I ever. He started blogging with Israeli’s and Palestinians and founded a forum that led to the peace movement in both those countries. The violence has finally ended there now, and our Tiny Tim was behind it.

starlight_runner Yes, once again Christians can celebrate Christmas in the Holy Land without fear. The Moslems and the Jews are respectful of each other and it was all accomplished through blogging.

SensuallyKatey Tiny Tim told me last week that he has begun blogging with some folks in Pakistan and India. He said that it won’t be long before he has them talking with each other.

hinkawaza Once he has them blogging together, the process will accelerate. When educated folk get to debating, solutions to problems are born.

AmberSolaire That’s right, Geoff. That’s how movements are founded. Blogging will foster their growth, and eventually the politicians will have to take heed.

wetpantyslut2 Oh come all ye Cratchits! Our Christmas Eve feast is prepared.

saintlianna Boys, will you please carry Tiny Tim to the table? He is too weak to make it himself.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:11 am

AmberSolaire hinkawaza Yes, father. He is light as a feather. He’s halfway to Blog-a-tory since this latest bug has hit him.

wetpantyslut2 (sobbing) Oh my poor boy! My poor, sweet, little Tiny Tim!

Tala4u2Do not weep mother. I am just a bit tired today, that’s all. I stayed up late writing a post about how wonderful you are. I titled it The Greatest Woman Walking, but I cannot get it to post. I will try again after supper.

wetpantyslut2 (smiling through her tears) I am only weeping because I am overcome with the joy of my beautiful baby boy!

sunrisegirl1983 AFTER THE CRATCHITS HAVE GIVEN THANKS FOR THEIR BLESSINGS, BOB PROPOSES A TOAST TO MR. SCROOGE.

saintlianna And now for a toast to my employer, Mr. Scrooge. He has made this all possible.

wetpantyslut2 I’ll not raise my glass to the likes of him! Why, it is he who has caused my Tiny Tim to suffer so. I say curse him, not bless him.

SensuallyKatey Nor shall I. Besides all of his other evils, he fired John, Paul, George, and Ringo.

hinkawaza Actually, that was Lady Fortune smiling on all of us, Gillian. If he hadn’t fired them then they never would have been released to the world.

waggypolly I heard that they quit.

AmberSolaire Of course they quit! Nobody but dear old dad can stand working for Mr. Scrooge.

lioness860 There is a rumor that he once was a blogger.

silkysmoothlegs3 It’s true. He had the potential to be one of the greatest bloggers ever it is said.

mzhunyhole What turned him away from blogging?

starlight_runner It was a woman, I’m told.

waggypolly No, it was a man. I have it on good authority.

I think it was both.

hinkawaza Actually you are closest, Lorianne. It was a woman pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:12 am

SensuallyKatey No! That’s not it! You are confused with an old movie, Geoff. It was merely a man pretending to be a woman. A common enough occurrence on the internet.

AmberSolaire Oh yeah, I remember now. He supposedly fell in love with the guy thinking he was a she, and then, when they actually met, Mr. Scrooge was so shocked that he gave up writing blogs completely.

silkysmoothlegs3 And now the old codger has a vendetta against bloggers. As if our pens have all been dipped in the same inkwell.

saintlianna Let us discuss this no more. It is Christmas Eve. This family will extend its blessings to all creatures, both high and low. Even such a one as our Mr. Scrooge. How could we do otherwise and not be hypocrites?

wetpantyslut2 I’ll not toast that man! Not with the way he is hurting my poor, sweet Tiny Tim!

Tala4u2 Oh mother, you must not harbor ill will in your heart. It will eat away at you from the inside. And if I do fade into Blog-a-tory, I will be there for a reason. Perhaps that reason is Mr. Scrooge?

For surely he is headed there. And to that "special place" reserved for the likes of him. I will be there to help him. To ease his suffering.

sunrisegirl1983 SUDDENLY THE FLOOR IS SWIMMING WITH GREENISH GOO, SWIRLING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS!

lioness860 silkysmoothlegs3
mzhunyhole SensuallyKatey waggypolly starlight_runner AmberSolaire 1SweetBitch hinkawaza wetpantyslut2 saintlianna
(retching and wiping their mouths on their sleeves) Sorry we threw up Tiny Tim, but sometimes you are just too much.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:13 am

Spirit, will Tiny Tim survive? Will he avoid Blog-a-tory? He’s not such a bad little fellow.

womenlooking4fun Without a fix, his blog will surely die.

But Spirit, he must be allowed to live. I have changed. Changed I tell you! I see the error of my ways. I want to write again! I want to blog again! I want to be like Tiny Tim and spread goodwill. I regret the unwritten posts that I have passed on composing all these long years.

womenlooking4fun Those unwritten posts should be stuffed down your throat and your mouth sewn up tight.

(hanging his head) I regret what was spoken to Ol Marley. By my own words you have damned me, Spirit!

greeneyesAtl05 BUT SCROOGE IS ALONE. THE SPIRIT HAS RETURNED FROM WHENCE SHE CAME. THE BELLS TOLL. THE HOUR IS PAST.

SCENE IX

Alas! What kind of life have I lived? Have I truly earned that special place in Blog-a-tory? And now it seems too late. How, oh how, shall I escape my fate?

What’s this? Here is another spirit. Has she come to allow me an opportunity to make amends? Oh oh, I have a feeling that this is not going to be pleasant.

PrincessKarma I am the Spirit of Blogging Future. I’ve been looking over your file here, and it’s not pretty. There is little chance for you to escape your fate.

I can change, you will see. Just give me one more chance.

PrincessKarma Ha! You sound like one of your dating site clients after being caught by his spouse!

greeneyesAtl05 THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING FUTURE TAKES SCROOGE TO THE ASH HEAP, A BURIAL PLACE FOR BLOGS THAT HAVE BEEN BANNED, BUGGED, OR BLED BY BLOGACIDE. A FUNERAL IS IN PROGRESS...

MissLilKink It’s such a pity that a blog should die so young.

Let’s not be hasty. Have you read some of these new blogs? Oy vey!

AmishAmy I’ll say. I don’t think it is entirely their fault though. Old Scrooge launched a new program before the end. Now when a new member creates a profile, a blog is created right along with it.

Well, that sounds convenient. But why would Scrooge do something that makes it easier to blog? I thought he hated blogs. Besides, what does that have to do with the quality of the newer blogs?

AmishAmy When a new member creates a profile he is usually quite horny, and eager to mate, er, meet with a female. He sees the blog thingie in his profile and not knowing any better he uses it to further advance his mating, um, I mean meeting, opportunities.

MissLilKink Oh, I get it. That explains why all these fellows seem the same. They just have different dix, er, ah pix.

Someone should educate these schlemiels that there are more creative ways to post. Feh! They make BlogLand appear to be a pimping convention. It causes the dedicated bloggers to wonder what they are doing in a place like this.

Which is exactly what Scrooge wanted. He didn’t care about honest writing or blog interaction. All he cared about was generating successful hook-ups and thereby increasing his prestige and the weight of his purse.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:14 am

Oh Spirit! Am I the poor wretch for whom these guests gather? Is it truly too late for me to change before I enter that special place in Blog-a-tory? I do not want my blog to die, just when it is about to be reborn!

greeneyesAtl05 THE SPIRIT MERELY LIFTS HIS ARM AND SILENTLY POINTS TO ANOTHER AREA OF THE ASH HEAP, WHERE SEVERAL MOURNERS HAVE GATHERED.

FreeLove999 I have never seen Bob so upset. He really loved his blogchild.

Tiny Tim was a special blogger. No one has further advanced the cause of blogging than he.

your_fave_MRE I heard that he was about to blog a breakthrough in the Pakistani-Indian crisis. And this right on the heels of his success in the Holy Land. He was a wonder for sure!

FreeLove999 He was so pure and good that even Mother Theresa threw up after delivering a speech about him.

He loved all the creatures of the earth. He was such a gentle soul, always giving of himself in order to help others.

your_fave_MRE Oh no! Didja have to say that so loudly? Shhhh.

your_fave_MRE FreeLove999 Too late!

greeneyesAtl05 SUDDENLY THE FUNERAL AREA IS FLOODED WITH A GREENISH GOO AS ALL THE MOURNERS RETCH TOGETHER.

(stepping back out of the goo) Oh thank goodness! It’s Tiny Tim who has gone to Blog-a-tory. For a minute there I thought it was MY funeral here.

greeneyesAtl05 THE SCENE FADES AWAY. SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PRESENT NOW APPEAR ON A LONELY STREET IN A CRAPPY PART OF TOWN.
HERE THEY FIND THEMSELVES WITNESS TO A CONVERSATION...


SCENE X

redlipsprincess I cannot give you much for these items. This gold pen seems the best of the lot. He was a writer, was he?

goddessofbitches So it is rumored. A good one too, I have heard. What about these little vials here?

redlipsprincess The blog poison? There are only a few drops left in each of them. He seems to have been spreading these poisons liberally through his blog site.

goddessofbitches He certainly knew his blog poisons. Here’s one that prevents a blog from being listed as a watched blog. That must be frustrating to both bloggers and fans alike. I like this one too. It causes a comment to be visible only to the commenter. No one else can see it, and the commenter is never the wiser. Rich!

redlipsprincess (laughing) Check this out. This one causes posts to be rejected over and over again. And here’s one that brings every deleted comment back again.

It must be a derivative of the one that multiplies a post. You know, you publish a post and then you are shocked to discover that the dang thing has posted in triplicate!


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:16 am

goddessofbitches This one’s empty. It must have been his favorite. It’s labeled POSTING MOLASSAS.

redlipsprincess Ah, yes! It prevents new posts from publishing right away. Depending on the dosage, this poison will delay a post for up to 24 hours.

goddessofbitches I wonder what he does with this case of aerosol cans? The label merely says BAD AIR. Hmmm, the ingredients are listed as:

ENVY, PRIDE, MISCOMMUNICATION, BIAS, and AGRESSION.

redlipsprincess It is said that occasionally he would cover BlogLand with a mist of this stuff. Soon after, the bloggers would begin sniping and harping at each other. Old Scrooge would just sit back and laugh with evil glee as the bonds that the bloggers share are twisted and torn apart.

Spirit, it is true. I did do all those things. But nevermore I tell you! The blogging bug is awakening in me once again. Even after all these long years! I can change my blogless ways. Tell me it is not too late!

All I wish to do is BLOG!

PrincessKarma BLOGS! "Humbug! Hot air, inflating nothing! That is what blogging is!"

What is it with you Spirits? Always trying to reproach folks by using their own words and actions against them. The last guy threw my words back in my face too. It’s not as if I have declared "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" in the middle of a war which is obviously far from finished. Jeesh!

PrincessKarma Save that for another morality play, Mr. Scrooge. If you are around to write it that is. Behold!

SCENE XI

kats60 SCROOGE AND THE SPIRIT SUDDENLY STAND IN A CREEPY CEMETARY, BEFORE A FRESHLY DUG GRAVE...

Oh, I get it. Now I suppose you want me to go and see the name written on that headstone there.

Okay, I’ll play along. Let’s see, I can barely make it out in this creepy lighting scheme were using for this set. Hmm, it says Here lies keithcancook. Who da heck is keithcancook?

PrincessKarma He was a blogger. As a matter of fact, he blogged in your website.

Never heard of him.

PrincessKarma He was a standard member.

Ahhh, that explains it. So, what about him? What does keithcancook have to do with me?

PrincessKarma Um, why don’t you finish reading the headstone? Jeesh!

Okay, okay, chill. It’s just that it’s been the longest fucking post, er, night, I‘ve ever seen. Let’s see, the epitaph reads

Here lies keithcancook
A blogging man was he.
Until he met Al Maya Sertz,
And turned into a she.

Burn in hell Al Maya Sertz.
For pulling such a scam.
Wearing all those sexy skirts,
And calling yourself "Polythene Pam"


Polythene Pam! I remember that name. She’s so good looking that she looks like a man!

Al Maya Sertz! So that was his real name eh? Grrr. He was the one who turned me away from blogging in the first place.

I’m gonna hunt that sucker down, like I should have done long ago. I’m gonna give ol Al a whole new meaning to his name. But first I am going to repair the blogs. Plus, I intend to begin posting a blog of my own.

PrincessKarma Al Maya Sertz is not the only player on the net, although perhaps he is the most notorious online female impersonator of them all. You are not the first male to be smitten by him. Many men have fallen for his con. They are all Sissy Marys now. Neither man nor woman, they have no gender.

Jeeze, the poor bastard. So this keithcancook, he was a blogger was he?

PrincessKarma Oh yes, a very dedicated one. In fact, he only used your site for blogging. He gave up searching profiles inside of a month. You once rewarded him with a three month gold ball for being such a fine blogger.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:17 am

That wasn’t me. That was Cratchit’s idea. Which reminds me. He is gonna get everything he needs for his department. And then some.

kats60 AT THIS MOMENT THE HOUR STRIKES ONCE AGAIN. SCROOGE FINDS HIMSELF BACK IN HIS ROOM AT THE RISING OF THE SUN.

SCENE XII

What the...? My! People sure do come and go quickly around here. I think it’s time to move out of this place, and get a new one. Oh well, it can wait until after Christmas.

CHRISTMAS! Oh no! Have I missed it?

kats60 AWAY TO HIS WINDOW, SCROOGE FLEW LIKE A FLASH.
TORE OPEN THE SHUTTER, AND THREW UP THE SASH.
WHEN WHAT TO HIS WONDERING EYES DID APPEAR,
BUT A GEEK IN THE STREET, A COMPUTER ENGINEER...


Yo! Geek!

No, no! Up here. I’m up here.

raptor880 Oh, hello there Mr. Scrooge! Good Morning!

Yes, yes. But hurry now. Pray tell, what morning is this?

raptor880Why Mr. Scrooge, it’s Christmas morning!

Of course it’s Christmas morning! I mean, what year is it? I’m am rather confused. This post, er, this night has been a long one.

raptor880 It’s Christmas morning 2005, as sure as I am born! Are you okay sir?

(giddy with joy) Yes, yes. I am quite fine today thank you. Listen up, do you know the IBM plant? The one over on NeverendingPost Boulevard?

raptor880 Certainly I know it. What kind of geek do you take me for?

I will take you for the Geek of Geeks if you will run down there and purchase that new supercomputer for me. The one I saw advertised? If it is still there that is.

raptor880 Do you mean the Blue Gene/L ? It’s there alright, but it’s bigger than your house.

Never mind that. I’m going to get Cratchit over there too. He’ll know just what to do when I tell him what I have in mind.

Chop! Chop! If you hurry I will let you use it on weekends.

(muttering to himself) The bloggers are already used to slow weekends anyway.

kats60 SALIVATING AT THE THOUGHT OF HAVING THE POWER OF 280.6 TFLOPS IN HIS HANDS, THE GEEK HURRIES OFF TO DO SCROOGE’S BIDDING. MEANWHILE, SCROOGE PAYS A VISIT TO THE CRATCHIT HOME...

saintlianna Good morning, Mr. Scrooge. Merry Christmas! Please come in.

Merry Christmas indeed, Bob! Will you come out? I wish to have speaks with you.

saintlianna How may I be of service, sir?


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:19 am

I have heard of the problems with Tiny Tim’s blog. I have arranged a solution. I need you to go down to the plant on NeverendingPost Blvd. and help the geek to bring our new supercomputer online.

Use its power to heal the blogs. All of them. But begin with Tiny Tim. I have grown quite fond of him.

kats60 STUNNED, BUT NOT WASTING A MOMENT, CRATCHIT REPAIRS THE BLOGS AND RESCUES TINY TIM. SCROOGE RETURNS TO WRITING BLOGS AND EVERYTHING IS HUNKY DORY IN BLOGLAND FOR CHRISTMAS.

THE END

EE407 Hey! What gives? I thought I was gonna get a part in this production. Jeeze, it’s bloated beyond anything seen in BlogLand before, but you couldn’t seem to find a part for your dear friend double E, could you?

kats60 AFTER A LONG UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE, KOOCNACHTIEK MAKES AN APPEARANCE...

My master sent me to calm you down EE. He is presently in hiding, but he wanted to point out that you were the only actor who played herself. He thinks that should count for something.

EE407 Izzat so? Well you can just diddy bop back to wherever he has secreted himself and tell him to rewrite his stupid play featuring me as the star. Doesn’t he appreciate true talent? Whatsamatta with him anyway? Putting me on after the show is over like this is humiliating!

DTduzDallas You think you’re humiliated, EE? That idiot completely forgot to write my part even though I visited his stupid audition post! Bring that dickless chickenshit out here on this stage! He’ll soon discover that Al Maya Sertz was a candyass pussywimp when compared with what I have in store for him!

tillerbabe ANOTHER PAUSE ENSUES WHILE KOOCNACHTIEK WHISPERS WITH SOMEONE HIDDEN BEHIND THE CURTAINS...

My master says to meet him in the casting room where all your "talents" can be better appreciated! He promises to listen to your ideas then.

He also wants to wish everyone in BlogLand and Beyond, a VERY

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

FINIS


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:20 am

A BLOGLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL CURTAIN CALL

AS EBENEZER SCROOGE,
saintlianna AS BOB CRATCHIT, expatbrit49 AS MARLEY,
AS THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PAST,
candy69sosweet AS YOUNG SCROOGE,
AS JOHN, dz2502 AS PAUL,
digdug41 AS GEORGE, postingnick AS RINGO,
luke69iner AS GENTLEMAN #1,
AS GENTLEMAN #2,
travelingintexas AS GENTLEMAN #3, bardicman AS GENTLEMAN #4
1hotwahine AS ALICE, Sweetest_Sin_Jes AS MARYLIN,
MaggiesWishes AS KATE, 1SweetBitch AS DEB,
Tala4u2 AS TINY TIM, TTigerAtty AS SCROOGE'S NEPHEW,
AS VERY YOUNG SCROOGE'S FRIEND


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:27 am

lioness860 AS MARTI CRATCHIT, silkysmoothlegs3 AS LUISA CRATCHIT,
AS LORIANNE CRATCHIT, mzhunyhole AS GISELLE CRATCHIT,
SensuallyKatey AS GILLIAN CRATCHIT, waggypolly AS JOHNNA CRATCHIT,
starlight_runner AS LAURA CRATCHIT, AmberSolaire AS PHIL CRATCHIT,
hinkawaza AS GEOFF CRATCHIT, wetpantyslut2 AS MRS. CRATCHIT,
womenlooking4fun AS THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PRESENT,
PrincessKarma AS THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING FUTURE,
goddessofbitches AS A CRONE, redlipsprincess AS A FLEA MARKET VENDOR,


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 9:28 am

MissLilKink AS FUNERAL GUEST #1,
AS FUNERAL GUEST #2,
AmishAmy AS FUNERAL GUEST #3,
AS FUNERAL GUEST #4,
FreeLove999 AS FUNERAL GUEST #5,
AS FUNERAL GUEST #6,
your_fave_MRE AS FUNERAL GUEST #7,
AS NARRATOR #1,
tillerbabe AS NARRATOR #2,
AS NARRATOR #3,
sunrisegirl1983 AS NARRATOR #4,
greeneyesAtl05 AS NARRATOR #5,
kats60 AS NARRATOR #6,
raptor880 AS A GEEK

With Ultraviolet_69 AS VERY YOUNG SCROOGE and spinmedown AS STAND-IN FOR VERY YOUNG SCROOGE.

Special guest appearances by

EE407 and DTduzDallas


Producers note:
A heartfelt thank you goes out to all the actors in this holiday morality play. Y’all were marvelous!

With fifty-three actors and over three hundred photographs this is by far the largest theatre-blog to date. Kudos to all of you!


Extra-Special Acknowledgement to [blog womenlooking4fun] womenlooking4fun for suggesting this project.
Thanks babe, (remind me to thump you later)


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/19/2005 10:07 am

You came in while I was still posting it, PrincessKarma. Along with ol Cratchit up there. I had to use 18 comments just to get it in here with all the pix intact!

I think it is in order now though.


rm_1hotwahine 70F
21089 posts
12/19/2005 11:48 am

Oh sweetie...you have absolutely outdone yourself this time! Every production gets better and better. And I LOVE the sly little things that were worked in. What deft subtleties. Keith this is WONDERFUL!
M

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


JudeL5 53M
1629 posts
12/19/2005 12:30 pm

Wow!!!!!! Loved it! Encore! everyone out for one more bow!!!

keep on bloggin' Keith


spinmedown 56M
3625 posts
12/19/2005 1:43 pm

Absolutely amazing, Keith.
Thank you and Merry Christmas!

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde


sexymermaid6956 70F
26383 posts
12/19/2005 3:04 pm

oh my good god what a brilliant man you are kieth...standing up giving you a standing ovation..now go to my room so i can have something wonderful to write about on my blog..teee heee...

[]

Seduce my mind and my body


frangipanigal 52F
10404 posts
12/19/2005 3:22 pm

Keith,

I am glad I stuck around long enough to see this blog before I go..it is the perfect ending.

Thank you kind and talented Sir for writing it for us all.

Frangi xxx


silkysmoothlegs3 112F

12/19/2005 5:58 pm

Brilliant

DID YOU SEE SILKY

WASNT SHE WONDERFUL

I THINK I WILL WIN THE GOLDEN GLOBE

hehehehheheh

love ya babes (thanks for including me )

silky xxxxxxxxxx


wife4stranger 64F

12/19/2005 6:26 pm

Bravissimo! {=}


rm_jayR63 66F
1884 posts
12/19/2005 6:51 pm

Scroll down that whole thing really fast while squinting.
It's like porn on acid.
I hope Keith gets a full size profile photo for xmas.


slidein2meplz 69F
1993 posts
12/19/2005 9:57 pm

That was so much fun Keith...thank you for letting me participate and speaking parts too, woo hoo! Twas more than I imagined. I left a comment for ya over at my blog in reply to your comment. How long did it take you to actually do all this? Anyway...thank you again and if you ever gear up for another production, I'd love to be in it. {=} **Slide gives Keith standing ovation**

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


PostingNick 57M
505 posts
12/19/2005 10:40 pm

Wow Keith...... I loved it, and there is a lot more to that story than will meet the average blogger's eye. I can see why you wanted some people to play certain parts, it was an honor just to be included


MaggiesWishes 67F

12/19/2005 11:09 pm

AND a blessed Merry Christmas to you and your household, Keith.

I'm still laughing.
How artfully & tastefully done, with a twist of a poison dart to hit the prim target!

Bravo! <Standing to applaud>


tillerbabe 63F

12/20/2005 12:33 am

YOU! Are brilliant! Merry Christmas! {=}


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/20/2005 5:11 am



Thank you, wahine. I had a lot of fun writing the subtleties into it. It's a pity that I couldn't have had more time to work on it.

Y'all got the first draft pretty much as is. That is part of the reason it is so bloated. I needed at least another month to do it proper. But I wanted you guys to have it before Christmas, so there it is.

Hey Jude, I heard that y'all did very well with those old instruments I gave you guys. Hamburg seems to have served you well!

Your welcome, and Merry Christmas to you too spinmedown.

Aww shucks, sexymermaid. Yer makin me blush.

Take a copy with ya when ya leave, frangi. You can prove that you were part of an international Christmas play in 2005! I hope you will find time to visit us in the future. Good luck, and best wishes to you sweetie...

Thank you, yagottalikit. I did it for you guys. BLOG ON!

silky was awesome! She stole the show! Entertainment Tonight, and People Magazineare screaming for interviews, pix, bios, and more information on this budding Irish starlet! Well done!

Thanks, wife4stranger. I can see at first glance that you have considerable talent. Perhaps I can persuade you to join me in my next venture?

TFF, jayR! I tried your suggestion and it was a lot of fun. In fact, I spent hours doing it and have yet to find my way back to reality...

Merry Christmas, mzhuny! We were all very pleased to have you with us for this production.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/20/2005 5:52 am



Perhaps I will venture into the action genre sometime in the future, hink. I am glad that you were able to participate in this one, so thanks!

Thank you for visiting The Venting Blog, FBK! I am very gratified with the reviews so far. Thanks again!

I worked on it about every other day for 3 weeks, slide. I did the coding on the last day. It was pretty easy with a word processor. I just plugged in the values and voila! Pix-a-Poppin!

We have been blogging together from the beginning nick, my old friend. It is I who am honored by your participation. I wouldn't have it any other way, dude!

Yes, you played one of the most important roles, candysoveryverythespian! In fact, if this were a true Broadway production Young Scrooge would have been the part everyone would have tried to get!

Of course I put the Wizard line in there just for you, sweetie! I knew you would notice it if you were able to read that far.

Yes, Maggie. Our friends in Paolo Alto were perfect for this satire. I hope ol Dickens will forgive me...

Why thank you, tiller sweetie! Merry Christmas to you too!

Thanks, waggypolly! I love writing for you guys.


papyrina 58F
21123 posts
12/20/2005 5:55 am

WOW kieth that must have taken for ever to write,well done its great

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


rm_DaphneR 65F
8019 posts
12/20/2005 8:30 am

Sweetie, posting stuff like this doesn't leave you time for once a day.

Great job!

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


IdealSmile 47M

12/20/2005 10:32 am

Excellent.loved it.Tell me did you name check every fab four song?


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
59F

12/20/2005 11:56 am

why we Keith

TTFN


GoddessOfTheDawn 112F
11240 posts
12/20/2005 12:25 pm

~ smilez ~

Merry Christmas for you and your loved onez, Keith


rockwriter58 63M
1386 posts
12/20/2005 9:42 pm

Yes... another great blogplay.... kudos....

It leaves me with a question though: when will The TATTLER have a review giving it five stars?

♪rockwriter58♪


MaggiesWishes 67F

12/21/2005 4:49 am

Whoaa ... to copy this play ( with your permission), without pics was 23 pages long!
My stars, and now going back to put in the Actors Names.
This will go into my "scrapbook"!

Still Amazingly wonderful piece , Keith! YOU daMan!

Thanks again for letting me be in on the fun!

Happy Holidays!


norprin5 62M

12/21/2005 8:54 am

great stuff! the King was amused!

King Nor XVIII


DTduzDallas 57F

12/21/2005 4:42 pm

**opera clap** You do incredible work. Bravo!


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/22/2005 12:57 pm

    Quoting papyrina:
    WOW kieth that must have taken for ever to write,well done its great

    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY


Slow and sure wins the race papy. I wish you a Merry Christmas too! You are very precious to me, don't ya know?


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/22/2005 1:46 pm

"Sweetie, posting stuff like this doesn't leave you time for once a day.

Great job!"


Ha ha, Daph! I went back and answered you over at your place.

"Excellent. loved it. Tell me did you name check every fab four song?"

Thanks IdealSmile! It's nice to see you here in The Venting Blog once again!
I'm not sure what you mean by "name check". The Beatles song titles are all capitalized. I googled up a list and played around with working them into sentences.

"LOL absolutely brilliant, This must be the longest post in Blogland History and you obviously have way too much time on your hands ol' pal.

Have a great Christmas Keith, I hope you and your family enjoy the season."


Hullo, ol pal! It's long alright. It takes about 35 minutes to read it in one sitting. I considered doling it out in pieces, but as you can see, I rejected that option!

I'll raise my mug to your good health on New Years Day, expat ol pal! In the meantime I will be practicing heavily in anticipation of the event!

"~~~~hands the Figgy Pudding to the cast and producer~~~

The figgy pudding will become legend now, Katey. I know I will never forget the fun we have had with it on the set!

"why we love Keith"

Aww, yer such a sweetie, redlipsprincess! That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day...

"~ smilez ~

Merry Christmas for you and your loved onez, Keith


Thank you so much Oh, Goddess. It is a great pleasure to see you here. I hope your holiday brings you joy. Have a wonderful Christmas, and dedicate it to your dad...
My thoughts are with you this year.

I hope the move into your new house is going smoothly, Jez. I'm glad you liked it. I only wish I could have refined it a bit. It certainly has promise, but it needs revision.


MsLoveRose 40F  
2432 posts
12/22/2005 4:17 pm

hmmm this is pretty good!!!! you have a wonderful way with people in general!!! thanks for including me in!!

live more, laugh often, love much


jadedbabe78 113F

12/22/2005 8:00 pm

Awesome read, well done.


goddessofbitches 48M/40F

12/22/2005 9:44 pm

BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!!!

I would like to star in another one some day...I think I did good and I wasn't hard to get along with like some actors...
HUGS~~~MANDY

Always The Bitch


bardicman 57M

12/24/2005 8:28 am

MERRY CHRISTMAS KEITH !!!!

VERY EXCELLENT POST !!~

You are the lord and master of the tale !!!



I am not dead yet


slidein2meplz 69F
1993 posts
12/24/2005 10:27 am

hehe...when I clicked to add this comment you already had "69" comments... how appropriate. LOL..

Merry Christmas Keith to you and your family! BLOG ON...yer da Man!
*hugs*


~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/24/2005 3:58 pm

Hullo there, Rocky! Thank you for reading the dang thing. Perhaps someone will do a review under the TATTLER logo. It won't be me though.

oldman, I appreciate you coming in and reading the play. I hope you will visit The Venting Blog again in the future. Merry Christmas to you!

You were marvelous Ultraviolet! You should get a Balony Award for your role, no doubt about it.
Best Actress in a Morality Play for a Non-Speaking Role.

I am pleased that you think it worthy of another read, Maggie. Copy it to your hearts content!

Hey! Thanks dz! That is quite a compliment, and I will try to live up to it. Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you to my old friend! BLOG ON!

Hullo norprin. It has been an honor to perform for royalty.

Yeah, you were fantistic candysoveryveryeasytodirect! A Balony Award winning performance for sure! Have you chosen your dress for the awards show yet? Also, I would have an acceptance speech ready too.

Thanks for the compliment DT. And thank you for helping me close out the performance. I will be waiting for you in the casting room...

The awards given for theatre-blogs are called the Balony's, AmishAmy. Of course I feel that each actor deserves a balony for their performance in this particular morality play.

Hey Luke! Thank you for your kind words and good wishes. I love using satire to make my points. I suppose I am just a wise guy to the core...

Hi sunrise! I am happy that you enjoyed this work. One of my goals in attempting this large project was to bring as many bloggers together as possible. Hopefully, blogging circles will be expanded, and the members of this cast will feel a common connection. I know that I have made a few new friends already from doing this thing.

Yeah, I hate it when that happens redlipsprincess. (Or theredlipz, if that is what you are calling yourself now. Several of the actors have glitches in their pixes, but you are the only one who lost her entire profile! Dang those Paolo Alto Scrooges!

Welcome to The Venting Blog jadedbabe. I resemble that screenname of yours, btw! In fact, it is how pigcancook was birthed! Thank you for reading the play. It is a time investment to do it in one sitting, and thanks to those who actually had time to finish it.

Hello, Mandy. I think you did good too. So did the other actors in your scene, which was great fun to write.
I do think someone has sprinkled some blog poison on your pic, though. I don't understand why it is not posting.
Nevertheless, you were so talented, and delivered your lines with such perfect clarity, that I will have to use you again in a future project. Hugs, keith

Welcome to The Venting Blog, tigger girl! Thank you so much for finding it worth the considerable amount of time it takes to read the durn thing. Would you like to try acting sometime in the future? I could use a girl with patience around here...

Merry Christmas, saint! Remember. It is ONLY acting. Jeeze, if everyone is thinking like you I hope that raptor isn't offended by acting as a geek, or goddessofbitches as a crone!

Thank you bard. Your opinion means a lot to me. I am glad that you enjoyed it. Merry Christmas!

Hey slide! If you think it is appropriate, count me in!
Merry Christmas to you too! BLOG ON sista!


toothysmile 57M
16539 posts
12/25/2005 7:50 am

Bravo! Encore! Encore!

... my hat 's off to the master!...
and thanks for including me Keith.


...and a very Merry Christmas to you buddy!......


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/25/2005 9:07 pm

    Quoting  :

LMAO, sexyfitwoman! Hey! Didja notice that I sorta put you in the play? E-mail me if ya can't figure it out!

Also, thank you for the compliments. It is always an honor when Her Honor makes an appearance in The Venting Blog.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/25/2005 9:26 pm

    Quoting  :

How lovely you will look candysoveryveryrevealing! I'm gonna wear the same tux from my high school prom as seen in testing in search of banned words!

It has been a good Christmas, thank you.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/25/2005 9:35 pm

    Quoting toothysmile:
    Bravo! Encore! Encore!

    ... my hat 's off to the master!...
    and thanks for including me Keith.

    ...and a very Merry Christmas to you buddy!......

Why thank you, toothy! It is I who am pleased with your participation. Each of y'all were necessary to build this play into a true blogbuster! Merry Christmas, and...

BLOG ON!


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/25/2005 9:54 pm

Aww, thank you mzhuny. It is y'alls support that keeps me writing. Happy holidays to you too, my little wildflower!

Ebeneezer's of all ages are fond of barbiebunzysweetiepiesugarplum honeybunch
!

Mmm, yummy.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/27/2005 6:28 am

Polyester??? I'll have you know that tux is made with genuine crushed velvet!!!


rm_goddess1946 113F
13513 posts
12/27/2005 8:33 am

applause! applause!

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/28/2005 8:56 pm

It is rather obscure, then again, it is very obvious if you know what to look for sexyfitwoman! It is wonderful to have you back in BlogLand regularly again, Madame Mayor. I trust that you will find that we took good care of the place in your absence...

May I take a bow now, goddess1946? Thank you for your support in visiting The Venting Blog. I rather enjoy visiting your place: [blog goddess1946], and I recommend it to all my readers.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/28/2005 9:36 pm

    Quoting  :

Actually they are animated eyes, Priapeo. They were the model for Bugs Bunny's. I wear the sunglasses all the time now so folks won't be put off. (They can be a bit unnerving until ya get used to em).

I had some help from a photo editor to give myself a more normal look for this post.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/29/2005 11:07 am

Oh, I'm sure I can manage it candysoveryveryvelvety!
Rub-a-dub-dub
candy's in my tub!
Yippie!


Thank you, SweetBitch. For both the compliment, and your participation.

I had a great time working with this project. I got to poke fun at our blogmasters. I got to work with, then fire the Beatles. I also enjoyed twisting the old Dickens tale into a platform for satire.

But most of all, I enjoyed working with all the wonderful bloggers and interacting with them here in The Venting Blog. I have made some new blogging friends as a result, and am much enriched by the entire project.

Thank you one and all...

BLOG ON!


redswallow777 55M
6809 posts
12/31/2005 6:32 am

Keith, once more I am more than a few days late and a few dollars short. I was stunned by the performance. Another cutting edge idea taken to the limits.

And I was just stopping by to wish you all the best in the New Year!

Redbird


slidein2meplz 69F
1993 posts
12/31/2005 10:39 pm

Happy New Year..Keith

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


rm_1hotwahine 70F
21089 posts
1/1/2006 2:20 pm

Since there is no new Venting Blog (that's okay - artists need their space, lol ) I have to jump onto this one to wish my dear Keith a Happy 2006!

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_EE407 48F
3903 posts
1/8/2006 6:21 am

TFF!!!

Thank you for at least letting me star as myself. A small compensation me thinks!!!!

Hugz & keep blogging,
E.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
1/12/2006 8:10 pm

Bubbles and delectibles? I'm in! Move it on over, candysoveryverycleanandtasty!

That's BlogLand for ya, Redbird! Ya never know what is behind the next doorpost! Thanks for the New Year wishes, hopefully 06 will be good for both of us...

Happy New Year to both of my girlfriends! Thanks for stopping by again slide.
And you, wahine... Thanks for clarifying that for me. I thought that artists were supposed to be spaced! Oopsie, I suppose now I must drop the insanity defense?

Ha ha, double E! No one else was qualified to play you.
However many have applied to play with you!


rm_EE407 48F
3903 posts
1/14/2006 11:52 pm

rofl @ keith, You been keeping a list somewhere of those who want to play with me??? If so, hand it over. I might have missed a few...


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
1/16/2006 1:59 pm

Oh, that list. It just says keithcancook on it!


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
12/20/2015 9:37 am

    Quoting  :

OMG! I have not been down here since christmas ten years ago. I just reread the damn thing (took about 40 minutes) and remembered the writing of it. Joy, I gotta tell ya it was a bitch to try and give speaking parts to over 50 characters. But I had promised anyone a part who wanted one...

It was getting so close to christmas that I just went ahead and posted the whole thing UNEDITED. Yikes! That is why it reads so difficult. About 40% of it needs to find the chopping room floor. It has some promise though. I should finally edit the dang thing. Then recruit some new actors... Then I can reissue it for xmas 2016. Hmm.


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