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Blogs > chgreen0 > My rants, raves and fantasies

What makes a relationship work?  

chgreen0 46M
6 posts
9/16/2009 6:23 pm
What makes a relationship work?

I think it starts with trust and love. Trust comes first though. And its not just what u trust but liking what u trust about the person.

Trust is based on knowledge. When you get to know someone you get to understand how they move, how they operate, how they think. This enables you to predict what their response will be to different situations. The more you get to know a person, the better you should be at determining how they think. And the more you can trust what they will do.

For instance, a person driving a particular car for the first time will experience a bit of discomfort as he gets to know the machine. But, the more he drives the machine in different circumstances, the better he knows what it can/cannot do and how to control it. Of course, he may never know it as well as a manufacturer or a real professional driver, but a bond is formed that is sometimes hard to break.

Similarly, when two people get to know each other, they begin to understand how the other person thinks and operates. They can then trust the other person to respond to a situation in a certain way. So, if a person says, "I cannot trust you," may it be that they did not take enough time to get to know you?

Once you get to know how a person works and thinks, the next thing is do I like how they work? Don't even think about trying to change a person's behaviour. That just isn't going to happen. (Changes to an adult's personality are the exception, not the rule!) There will be certain traits you won't like. (After all we are human!) So the real issue is whether we can live happily with those problems. Once those things have been dealt with then a person can truly be in love with another person.

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