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| Blogs > potbelliedman > Whats going on in this world? |
I get so pissed off....
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I get so pissed off.... I'm just venting here. It pisses me off when ya spend so much time trying to get to know someone, investing time and hours you could have been doing something else, only to get nothing better out of it. Recently I've had 3 fwb things start to bud out, and then suddenly recess to nothing. Sure, they are still friends, that's all good and cool right? Yeah, right! I've already got plenty of friends to talk with. What about the nights when I wanna hold a warm body next to me, or to caress someone's hair while they sleep on my chest? What about the times I wanna do more then just gab on the phone, or listen to their problems? It's hard, like I said, when you've started to put so much extra time into someone and it goes nowhere. I suppose I've got a friend or two who'd say "Well, Ken, you did that to me! How's it feel?" (Like I've never experienced it before this, or them.) At least I give a reason why I don't want to take things farther, "You're too jealous for me." "You're a fuckin' nut." At least I give them things to ponder if they think they can change it, and perhaps get me to change my views on the details and reconsider. But in my situation, it seems I get all the adoration, and then no reason for the lack of desiring me for more then friends. I know others in this situation give up, or at least say they are going to give up. But seriously.....Who does that hurt? Only the one giving up! I don't treat everybody else like they are the one who jaded me, and those other friends of mine shouldn't either. Like I said, I'm just venting, because in my most recent adventure, I started to fall for a friend who did the whole call and talk for hours thing, hanging out for days thing, and even let me interact with her for months on end. For months I've thought about both of them all day long. Dreaming about them. Speaking about them. Trying to figure if and where I'd fit into their lives. Even if I actually have a place in them. Where do they fit into mine? She told me once that she feels like something is missing from her life. I felt the same, but dared not say it at the time. Finally I recently confessed I feel the same at times. I was thinking this would open the door to more honesty, more time, and maybe commitment. WRONG: Now I've got nothing coming from that avenue that is productive. A wiser man would have decided to walk another avenue by now, but I held on to hope. It's only today that I decided to let it go. (At least in this case.) I have some rules about going about things when I feel rejected. You miss more then two of my calls, and I stop placing them. (This applies to only situations when they know I'm gonna call, IE, texting them "I'm gonna call you so we can talk about this.") You turn me down for more then two visits consecutively, and on the third chance, it's a test. Which she failed today. I know some people need alone time. Or time with others if they are not in a committed relationship, (Sometimes even when they are.) But I just can't believe it when someone claims to be into me, yet down plays my advances, or purposely misses opportunities I offer them. Nothing makes me feel more like I've wasted time when this happens. I'm so easy to please, but I guess that's not noticeable to people who refuse to see. So tonight will be one full of strong music, strong cigars, and strong drink for me. (But not too much as I have to work tomorrow.) Hell, I'll even skip the drinking...But damn this pisses me off. Ken  |
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8/4/2008 5:17 pm |
Very often, with the kind of sexual relationships that are possible from AdultFriendFinder, there is a window of opportunity for turning it into something. You talk for too long without getting to the nub of the matter, and you miss the window, I'm afraid. Our attention may have moved elsewhere, or we may have become so comfortable with you that we are no longer able to look at you as shag material. And the trouble is that women have so few genuine friends that are male, so we love it when we find one. I'm not surprised the situation is pissing you off, though. Blogito ergo sum.
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AH hon holler at me maybe I can help. "Temptation is fun...Giving in is even better.."
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I know how you feel. It happens way to often to both sexes and the thing that bugs me the most is they never give a reason. What the hell is so hard about letting a person know why? I'm starting to think it's a shame you don't live closer.  Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
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8/5/2008 4:19 am |
I understand how you feel, to an extent. I met someone from here a few months ago, and altho both of our situations are a bit complicated at the moment, his especially, I like him. A lot. Which kinda sucks, cause I don't see how it could work with both of us having very little time and my terror at the thought of a relationship. I feel like we are in the 'friend zone' but in a way, I'm hoping that we won't be in that place forever. He's the kind of guy I think I could fall head over heels with if I'm not careful. I have an exam to study for tonight, so have a drink for me babe! And always remember, I think you're fabulous! Manda  [post 1718784] This place is full of them!!
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I have no idea if this is the case. People have trouble communicating. When a guy goes into my 'friend' zone, it is because he was not living up to the duties of FWB. I am very upfront about sex being mutually beneficial. If/when a guy comes around and is looking to ONLY get his the status of our relationship changes. When questioned about when we are going to get together again, I will tell them we can hang out, but we won't be having sex and I will tell them why. If they don't want to remain friends that is on them. In any case, when you have an FWB or a friend there is sometimes not an apparent reason for them in your life. It may takes years to figure out why they came to you when they did. Other woman may not want to tell men, they want to 'spare his feelings,' but the problem is they are stringing a guy along having him think it will happen again. Some guys I did lose as 'friends' when I told them the sex was over, others I still talk to.
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8/5/2008 10:01 pm |
Oh! I think I just had a zen moment! I could have written this, 'cept for the part about fwb. I finally committed myself to someone after much introspection on both his part and mine as to the incredible distance factor. The gist of the story is that I've spent a bit over $500, seven months of celibacy, and a collossal emotional investment I didn't think I was capable of just to end up with a plane ticket I can't use, and a broken heart. What a friggin life eh? Sorry you seem to be in the boat with me...I'll pass you a floatation vest if you'd like. lol Come for the breasts, Stay for the brains! L
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8/6/2008 2:32 am |
Hmmm.. If you can't see that I did it, how do you know it was me who hotlisted you.. The wonders of AdultFriendFinder! [post 1718784] This place is full of them!!
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8/6/2008 11:52 am |
LOL Ken! You know I usually get lost in new places. If you're ready to be lost...look me up! Come for the breasts, Stay for the brains! L
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8/6/2008 5:51 pm |
Oh Ken, where was the last place you remember having your soul? I lost mine too, and I was sitting here at the computer, but alas, I've looked all over the house for it, and no luck. Probably my dog ate it... Come for the breasts, Stay for the brains! L
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8/7/2008 2:57 am |
The bastards at AdultFriendFinder keep deleting my blog watch list, so have hotlisted everyone in it.. There are now about 30 people hotlisted instead of the 5 I had before! Kinda like instead of seeing confirmation numbers, I have to listen to them! Strangely enough, even with all the fuck ups, I do like this place! [post 1718784] This place is full of them!!
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